


Shut Up and Drive

by imgoingcrazy



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F1 AU, M/M, i'll update tags as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2018-11-01 07:38:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10917318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imgoingcrazy/pseuds/imgoingcrazy
Summary: Aaron liked Andy, respected him even.Ten seconds after meeting his brother, the newest Home Farm driver, Aaron wanted to bash his head in with a wrench.





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Minor editing done to this chapter, added an additional 300 words to flesh some stuff out better.

* * *

A season was won by a team not just a driver, it was a simple fact of racing. Only the most arrogant - and ultimately misinformed - drivers believed they won things on their own. You could be the best driver in the world but without the team behind you, without open communication and a good rapport not even the best could make a miracle happen.

Every driver Aaron had ever worked with had known this, had gone out of their way to get along with the mechanics.

When Andy had first joined Home Farm he'd made it a point pre-season to spend full days in the garage with the rest of them wanting to understand the ins and outs of the cars he would be driving. Learning terminology he might not have otherwise bothered to know because it would make relaying what was wrong during a race that much easier. Andy had understood that the better they all clicked the smoother things would run, the faster an adjustment could be made and the easier a race could be won.

Aaron _liked_ Andy, respected him even.  
  
Ten seconds after officially meeting his brother Robert, the newest Home Farm driver, Aaron wanted to bash the smug prats head in with a wrench.  
  
It was almost impressive considering Robert had only been in the garage for all of maybe five minutes. Short time or not ten seconds was all it had taken Robert to cast his gaze around the garage and sneer from beside Lawrence's side - his disdain practically radiating off him - as Lawrence introduced them.

Ten seconds it seemed was all the time Robert required to find Aaron beneath even the most common of courtesy before he'd swung his attention back to Lawrence, his dismissal of Aaron blatant, and while the team owner at least had the decency to look flustered by Robert's blatant actions towards his lead mechanic he didn't actually say anything about it. Aaron simply blinked at the team owner expecting him to eventually try and smooth this disaster of a meeting over.

Unbelievably it was Robert who had broken the tense silence "Are you sure this lots the best around?"

The rest of garage had gone quiet behind them at Robert's statement, the insufferable ass not even bothering to lower his voice. While Aaron felt anger roll through him he could hear Ross swearing in the background while Adam tried to shush him.  
  
Aaron's fingers flexed at his side but he kept silent his gaze snapping between Robert and Lawrence as he waited for the owner to admonish his newest driver. Arrogance was expected in any sport, especially in a sport loved worldwide, and the crew had worked with massive egos before.

But this?

Robert was barely on the team had yet to learn anyone's name beyond Aarons and he was effectively spitting in their faces.

In the end it was the brunette draped on his arm, who Aaron recognized as Lawrence's daughter Chrissie, who reacted first. Her delicate hand coming up to smack Robert lightly in the chest and her lips pulled down in a frown, but her tone was more patronizing than lecture.

"Robert, honestly."

It was pathetic, the entire display from all three of them was absolutely pathetic, _they_ were pathetic, and the sneer that curved up one side of Aaron's lip made his feelings crystal clear. There was the smallest of chances that if this introduction had taken place privately Aaron would have bottled it but the slight hadn't been against just him. It had been open and intentional and if Lawrence wasn't going to stand up for the rest of the engineering team then he would.  
  
"You wanna try that again, mate? Maybe even look at me this time when you say it?" It might have been phrased as a question but it clearly wasn't.  

Robert's face retained the same passively bored look it had maintained almost the entire time he'd been in the garage as he turned to face Aaron but at least this time Aaron had his full attention.  
  
Robert Sugden might have been one of the most pretentious people Aaron had ever had the misfortune of meeting but with those eyes staring straight at him it was impossible to ignore just how striking he was. His blond hair trimmed short at the side but kicking up slightly in the front, freckles dusted across his cheeks and a mouth Aaron was suddenly entirely too interested in.

Thankfully Robert did Aaron the biggest of favors by speaking again and the the spike of _want_ that had surged inside him with Robert's full attention was snuffed out violently by Aaron's own temper.  
  
"I want to make sure I have the best, I'm not convinced."  
  
"Considering you've not said more than ten words to any of us I can't imagine how you'd even know." snapped back.  
  
"I'd know." He replied on a sigh.

Two words, that's all it was, but the arrogance behind them had Aaron seeing red. The meaning behind them clear and he'd been ready to surge forward without considering what the repercussions of his actions could mean when Chrissie's nervous laughter had brought him up short, a reminder of his surroundings.

Aaron's hand flexed at his side again as he tried to calm himself down again but his frustration was impossible to miss, his tone cold when he did finally speak again. "I don't know who the hell you think you are, mate, but you're lucky to have us. We're not the ones needing to prove ourselves that would be _you_ .”  
  
"Meaning what exactly?" For the first time Robert's indifference seemed to slip and Aaron watched an emotion he couldn't identify flicker across his features.  
  
"Only the whole racing world's been talkin’ about it yeh? The how and why you got your spot." To drive the point home Aaron's gaze flicked briefly from Robert to Chrissie and then back to Robert again and Aaron knew he'd hit a sore spot by the way Robert's entire frame had stiffened. "Not really a question Andy's ever had to face I don't think."  
  
Without waiting for Robert to answer Aaron had turned to face the trio behind him, all three of them trying to smother their own amused looks not quite as bold as Aaron in the face of their employer and his daughter. "Ross, you ever heard anyone question how Andy got his spot?"  
  
"Can't say I have."  
  
"What about you Ad-"  
  
"Enough" It wasn't Robert though putting an end to things as Aaron had expected but instead Lawrence who it seemed had finally found his backbone. Aaron would wager it was more to do with Chrissie who now stood at her father's elbow whispering quietly than any good intentions.

Aaron felt a small pang of guilt as his intention was to insult Robert but he could understand how in a roundabout way it was of course insulting to her as well, he wouldn't be apologizing to her for it though no matter how petty that made him not after the way the trio had behaved in the garage. His team was the best and they absolutely deserved the respect of not only the drivers but the owner. This wasn't something that would be quickly forgotten or forgiven by any of them.  
  
"This is hardly a way for a team to behave."  
  
"Reign that one in then, yeh?" The word was still clipped a small hint that Aaron was still furious.  
  
"I'm sure Robert didn't mean to be so abrasive, did you Robert?" Lawrence asked. Clearly pleading with the other man to play nice.  
  
Aaron was willing to bent a year's salary that Robert had intended and meant everything he'd said and done from the moment he'd stepped into the garage. It was a shame such a pretty face had such a terrible personality.  
  
"Of course not." he replied after a moment of silence before without another word Robert turned on his heel, snagged Chrissie's hand, and practically dragged her from the garage behind him.

His lack of apology wasn't missed by anyone.  
  
"What a fucking prat." Aaron mumbled under his breath as he watched him leave and Aaron would never in a million years admit that his eyes followed Robert's ass, hugged tightly by well fitting jeans, the entire trek across the garage before it disappeared out the door.  
  
"I really am sorry about him Aaron, I don't understand what got into him."  
  
"I hope you don't think you're off the hook either Lawrence." Aaron had worked for Lawrence's racing team for almost six years now. He'd worked his way up from just another hand on deck at twenty all the way to the lead mechanic with his twenty sixth birthday looming in the distance. They'd had rude drivers before. Some they'd worked around, some they hadn't Lawrence had always had their backs, had always been a fair boss. That was probably part of why Aaron was still so mad, he hadn't expected this from his boss.  
  
Andy had been the perfect fit when he'd shown up. Friendly and outgoing he'd made friends with them all and Aaron had high hopes that his brother would work out just as well.

But from the moment Robert's name had been announced by Home Farm the stories had started rolling in: every other day was a tale about his ego, why was he being given a spot and if he had deserved it. Aaron had chosen to ignore all of it because he’d assumed Lawrence knew what he was doing. The older man had a good mind for business and wasn't about to do something that could jeopardize such a young team that had steadily been making a real name for itself.  
  
Today however had been eye opening, so Aaron didn't bother to hold back. “You passively sit back and let that man have a go at us again and you'll be finding a new team to go along with your new driver."

  
For Aaron it was the end of the discussion and he left a reprimanded Lawrence behind in his wake as he turned and stomped from the garage himself knowing he needed to calm down before he said something he might actually regret later.


	2. Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, I updated, sorry about the wait has some wicked block for a bit there.
> 
> Feedback is welcome and encouraged.

It had been nearly a month since their initial unpleasant meeting and despite all of Lawrence's promises of things getting better each subsequent meeting with the egotistical driver had simply gotten worse and worse. Aaron and Robert had snipped at each other every time the tall blond descended on them and by the third week it was edging into exhausting for Aaron. He liked his job, he enjoyed whom he worked with, and Home Farm had in a way been a type of home for him. However with a brother for a teammate and a fiancee in the boss's daughter it wasn't going to be Robert that got chucked out in the rain and Aaron prefered to be proactive with his life rather than passive.

So he'd gone to see Lawrence and he'd given his notice. Lawrence had refused it, repeatedly, even as Aaron explained that wasn't how things like this worked. In the end he'd told Lawrence he'd give Robert one more chance, either the driver learned how not to be a disrespectful twit or Aaron was gone. To be fair Aaron wasn't egotistical enough himself to think him leaving would do any real damage to Home Farm but both Lawrence and himself knew that if Aaron walked, he wouldn't be the only one and Lawrence would be left scrambling for half a crew weeks before the first race.

That threat, Aaron imagined, was why his lunch had been interrupted by a scowling Robert towering over him as he sat at a table behind the garage. In the back of his mind Aaron had always known the drivers were in top shape. The effect that driving at the speed could have, it was hard on the body, and the better shape you were in the less likely you were to fatigue later in a race. But with Robert standing in front of him now, shorts hanging low on his hips, hair flat against his forehead from sweat, and no t-shirt Aaron got a first had look at what "in shape" actually meant and he wasn't able to stop himself from tracking a bead of sweat as it trekked it's way down Robert's chest and across his stomach.

Slowly he pulled his gaze up from the sweat as it streaked towards the edge of Robert’s shorts and up to Robert's face sending up a silent thank you to whatever was up there that Robert had been too distracted by his own bad mood to notice Aaron's open appreciation of his body. Robert Sugden it seemed was determined to be a problem whether the other man knew it or not..

Schooling his features quickly he arched an eyebrow at Robert when he remained silent. "Can I help you?"

"Lawrence said we needed to speak."

Aaron made a dismissive sound and returned his attention back to his sandwich before leaning forward to take a bite not bothering to look back up at Robert. "Then speak."

“I’m supposed to apologize.”

“You’re doing a bang up job so far.”

Aaron could sense him moving out of the corner of his eye and finally turned his head to look at the blond and regretted it almost instantly. Robert's hands had moved to his hips his thumb snagging in the waistband so that it tugged the fabric down slightly and Aaron felt a stab of desire so strong he bit down on the side of his cheek at the reveal of Robert’s hip dent. Robert's attitude was everything he disliked in a person but with the evidence inches from his face he couldn't deny that the other man was gorgeous.

He let out a breath and quickly flicked his gaze upward to Roberts face again but this time his wandering eyes hadn't been missed and Aaron watched the scowl that had been fixed firmly in place slowly morph into a smug smile. The wave of desire hit Aaron again and he forced himself to ignore it, to keep his gaze on Robert's face, even as the other man very purposely pushed the waist of his shorts down even lower.

He didn’t understand the game, wasn’t even sure he wanted to. Robert was first and foremost an absolute twat and secondly he had a fiancee, a very female fiancee.

“Still waiting, mate.”

“He said you found my attitude problematic, that I’d been making the workplace uncomfortable.” Robert sounded petulant as if apologies were beneath him.

Robert took another bite of his lunch before setting the sandwich down and wiped his hands on the legs of his overalls. “Actually, I said you were an unparalleled condescending ass and I’d rather have no job than deal with you for a moment longer.”

“Are you always this sensitive, I thought lads loved a good banter?” If Aaron actually knew Robert decently well he might have thought he sounded jealous.

“Is all the attitude a general middle child syndrome thing or just some sort of inferiority complex towards Andy you’re still working through?”

“Shut your mouth.” The playful glint in Robert’s eyes was gone and Aaron watched in amusement as the older man braced his hands on the table and leaned down until they were face to face, noses practically touching. “Watch it Dingle, Lawrence might put up with your attitude but I know a grease monkeys place. ”

A corner of Aaron’s mouth kicked up, amusement lighting up his whole face. So it seemed Andy  _ was _ a weak spot. He’d had his suspicions from how the two men interacted and the way Robert had stormed from the garage that first day but this blatant power play confirmed it.

“Must be rough, everyone actually liking Andy and all I mean.”

Aaron had expected words because everything about Robert screamed that he fought with his words, that he preferred quick sharp jabs to physical violence. Pretty face like his? Aaron didn’t blame him. So when Robert surged forward and snatched Aaron by the t-shirt and dragged him up from the bench he wasn’t ready for it. It was the only reason Robert managed to get him pinned against the side of the picnic table looming over him fury etched across his entire face.

Aaron should have felt annoyance or irritation, instead he only felt want. Intended or not the two men were pressed together from the waist down to their knees and Robert’s body radiated heat.

“Shut up.”

“I gotta be honest Robert, you’re a lot less witty one on one.”

Robert’s hands were still tangled in the fabric of Aaron’s t-shirt and Aaron lifted his own to grab at Robert’s wrists, attempting to pry his fingers lose. Robert’s breath was hot on Aaron’s face, hot like every other fucking part of him touching Aaron and the younger man tried to stay focused on the argument. Tried his best to not think about how good it felt to be pressed against Robert’s lean frame. But then Robert shifted and Aaron’s leg slipped between his.

Aaron at least had his jeans and then the layer of his overalls to cover up his body's reaction to Robert but Robert’s gym shorts didn’t give anything near that and there was no mistaking the heavy weight riding against Aaron’s thigh suddenly. 

“Jesus.” It seemed to shake Robert out of whatever temper and Aaron watched  _ something _ flicker across the other man's face before Robert managed to school his features, it only added to Aaron’s confusion about Robert and it soured his mood. “Let go of me.”

Robert opened his mouth but before he could say anything Chrissie’s voice rang out in the distance. “Robert are you out here?”

Aaron expected him to shove away quickly, to put distance between them, but for the second time that day Robert caught him off guard as instead Robert let his hands uncurl from Aaron’s t-shirt only scrape slowly down Aaron’s stomach, to tease his fingers under the edge so they could skirt lightly across his skin. Aaron blinked in confusion as his breath stuttered out and Robert finally started to pull away only to purposely let his weight sag against Aaron’s thigh as he did. The drag of his dick impossible to ignore.

It was so fucking blatant, so obviously sexual that when Robert was finally several steps away from him with a pleasant smile fixed to his face as Chrissie rounded the corner of the building Aaron could do nothing but stare dumbly as she approached.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“I was apologizing to Aaron, but I think we're good now.”

There was no way to misinterpret what Robert had just done but it had all happened so suddenly and then ended just as abruptly that Aaron had no idea how to process this new information, not that he even understood  _ what _ exactly this new information was.  It was a moment before he realized the pair were looking at him.

“I-yeah, we're good.”

Chrissie flashed him a bright smile. “Perfect, Dad will be so happy to hear that.  If you'll excuse us Aaron we have reservations for lunch and this one needs to change.”

She waved her fingers at him in parting before taking hold of Roberts hand and pulled him after her chattering happily as the walked. Robert didn't so much as glance back at him and Aaron sagged against the edge of the table scrubbing a hand over his face in confusion.

“What the fuck.” 


	3. Two Steps Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feedback so far had been a bit unexpected tbh, thank you so much for all the kind words.
> 
> But hey lookit, a chapter update that didn't take 6 years my gift to you for hanging in there during the drought.

“You wouldn't be avoiding me by chance would you?” The confident voice came out of nowhere startling Aaron as he rummaged around the bottom shelf of his work bench and he yelped in pain as he clipped his head on the underside the the bench.

“Fuck..”

Hed stumbled slightly as he stood up and felt nimble fingers curve around his elbow steadying him - fingers that burned through the material of his overalls like it was nothing and making him suck in a breath - before being steered towards the nearby stool.

“Are you usually such a klutz?” Robert asked.

Aaron’s snappy reply died on his lips when Robert suddenly tilted Aaron’s head forward to let his long fingers comb gently through Aaron’s dark hair inspecting the damage.

The truth was he  _ had _ been avoiding the driver and Robert damn well knew it. 

It had been a week since Robert had interrupted his lunch, it had also been a week of the insufferable driver showing up at the garage more than ever before. Aaron would slip out as soon as he realized Robert was there, sometimes with a bit of subtly and sometimes as Robert was mid-sentence in greeting. So the older man's question was teasing rather than genuine.

Aaron didn't feel like being teased.

Swatting Robert's hand away Aaron lifted his head and went to stand up only to have Robert invade his space, leaving Aaron to glare up at the other man with a frustrated sigh. "What do you want Robert?”

“Just to talk, are you always this moody?”

“And you need to be this close to talk do you?”

“Not at all, but we both know if I move you'll bolt like a frightened cat.” Aaron should have focused on pushing Robert away from him on telling him to piss off, instead this close to him all Aaron could do was openly stare at the other man's face as he talked.

Aaron has spent those first few weeks aggressively ignoring how attractive Robert was. Forced himself not to notice the way freckles dusted his face, the way jeans clung to him like a second skin, how everyday words sounded downright filthy out of his mouth sometimes. How his arms fit into t-shirt or how firm his ass looked when he bent over to look at an engine. Instead he tried to focus on the absolutely horrendous personality the other man had.

He'd clearly not done a very good job.

“Are you done eye-fucking me so I can repeat my question finally or?”

Aaron hadn't even realized his gaze had wandered from Robert's face down to his chest and yet more embarrassing, even lower, but it snapped back up at Robert's words, his cheeks heating. “I-whatever.”

“You weren't at lunch with the rest of the crew.”

“And? That's not a question” his voice was gruff, his embarrassment not quite subsided.

“Everyone was there.”

“Still not a question.”

Frustration flickered across Robert’s face before he could stop it. “ _ Why _ weren't you there.”

“Bit obvious I think.” He shrugged, didn't bother to elaborate further. “Will you move already?”

“No.” a brief pause and then “You didn't skip the days Andy tagged along.”

There it was again, the sore spot and Aaron felt petty enough to push at it. “Yeah, well, I actually like Andy so bit different innit?”

Aaron couldn't keep up with the torrent of emotions that tore across Robert's face at his words but in the end he buried all of them and fell back on smug condescension. “You  _ more  _ than like me.”

“No, I  _ tolerate _ you. No real choice otherwise.  Just because you’re fit doesn't mean I want anything to do with you.” He was getting real tired of Robert's attitude, of Robert pushing and poking at him, frankly of Robert treating him like some sort of toy. So he didn't bother to bite his tongue as he planted his hand in the middle of Robert’s chest and gave him a hard shove back. “I don't want you near me, let alone in any other way, or was my sprinting away from you at every turn not a big enough hint?”

He leveled a finger in Robert's face, the older man frowning back at him. “ _ But _ if I wanna eyefuck a  _ straight _ bloke named Sugden think I'll keep to Andy, least his personality enhances his loo-.”

Robert had surged forward without warning, hands gripping Aarons overalls again and shoved his back against the workbench with force. Pressed their bodies firmly together and let one of his legs shuffle between Aaron’s with a smirk. “For the record, stop mentioning Andy when we flirt it's a buzzkill”

“We're not  _ flirting. _ I don't flirt.”

“Probably for the best, you're rubbish at it.”

Aaron was struggling to keep up, still not entirely sure what was happening. “You do my head in, christ.”

“Makes us even.” he replied with a shrug, hands still clutching onto Aaron’s overalls. As if that sentence made any sense. 

“I'm not interested in this game, you've had your fun the past few weeks winding me up and then whatever the hell this week has been but enough is enough.”

Robert blinked confusion etching itself across into his features.“I'm not playing a game.”

“Of course you fucking are. You're engaged, Robert, to a  _ woman.”   _ Aaron snapped. 

Then he watched as Robert's mouth tugged down into a frown, his eyes darting around as he searched Aaron’s face for something. Whatever he’d been looking for though he must not have found it because his shoulders slumped and he seemed to fold in on himself. 

The confidence he wore like a second skin had deserted him. One of his hands lifted to rub at the back of his neck and this close to each other Aaron couldn't miss the nervous panic in his eyes.   
  
When he spoke finally he sounded unsure of himself and it twisted something inside Aaron, the mechanic already regretting his harsh tone. “I must have misread things.”   
  
Except Aaron was starting to think he'd been the one to misread things. Even before this week Robert had started showing up to the garage more and more. Poked and prodded at Aaron. He'd seemed to get a kick out of winding Aaron up and Aaron had assumed it was malicious. Assumed Robert was just a twat and so he'd reacted in turn but now… had Robert thought they were flirting this entire time?   
  
Robert abruptly moved away, a bit faster even than when he'd surged forward, his hands falling to his side's as nervous energy practically radiated from him. Robert was loud and egotistical drawing attention from everyone when he entered a room whether good or bad but now he looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him up whole. Like he'd do anything to have no attention on him at all.  

Aaron had made made an absolute mess of things. “Robert-”   
  
“It's fine. You're right, it was just a game. No harm no foul.”    
  
But it  _ hadn't _ been a game. Robert had been interested, had thought they were bantering and now he was understanding all of Aaron's comments in a different light. Now Robert wouldn't even look at Aaron as he spoke, instead his gaze fixed on the wall behind Aaron’s left shoulder.   
  
Hesitantly Aaron took a step forward and Robert quickly took two steps back. “Robert, I didn't realize ju-”   
  
“I won't-I’ll keep out of your way from now on.”    
  
“Would you just wait a second.”    
  
“If it's all the same to you, I'd really rather not. You've made your feelings quite clear.” He was edging away again and Aaron could see the walls going back up. 

Could see him shutting down. He'd opened his mouth to say something - anything really - to try and fix what was happening. But Adams laughter cut into the growing silence and in the time it took Aaron to look from the door opening and back Robert had fled leaving Aaron with their words echoing in his head.   
  
_ You've made your feelings quite clear. _

_ Yeah, well, I actually like Andy so bit different innit? _ __  
__  
_ I don't want you near me, let alone in any other way. _ __  
__  
_ Least his personality enhances his looks. _ __  
  
“Fuck."

 

 

 

Nine days.

He hasn't seen Robert since their last conversation  _ nine _ days ago. He’d expected Robert to bounce back, to flounce back into the garage and needle away again. Every time the garage door had opened Aaron’s gaze had flew over to it hoping for even a glimpse of blond hair but it was only ever one of the boys and on a few occasions Andy. No, Robert hadn't simply brushed their argument off and steamrolled on like expected instead he'd fallen off the face of the earth and Aaron hadn't been the only one to notice.

“Oi, Andy, what happened to that pompous brother of yours? Too good for us suddenly is he?” Ross questioned.

Aaron feigned indifference and kept his head buried in the motor of Andy's car but his focus stayed with the conversation.

“He's on a vacation.” if Andy's tone was anything to go by he wasn't best pleased about it either.

“You lot have a race in less than a month.”

“I am aware.” 

“So he's alright then?” Aaron hadn't meant to actually ask but he'd been worried, much to his own annoyance. Pulling up out of the engine block he rested his hands on the car and fixed his attention on Andy.

Andy gave a half shrug of the shoulder and Aaron forced himself not to frown while simultaneously chastising himself for feeling bad for Robert. The other man was outrageously rude but even still something about the way Andy dismissed Robert's feelings didn't sit right with him.

“Seems fine, bit mopey I guess. Probably why Chrissie asked Lawrence if they could go.” At least he knew why Robert hadn't been around then or so he thought “It's only for an extended weekend though, they'll be back tomorrow.”

Aaron gave a shrug of his own before getting back to work only to feel Adam come along side him and elbow him gently in the side as he leaned into car as well a grin on his face. “You got a thing for Robert eh?”

“You what now?”

“Don't even try denying it, mate. I've seen you two making eyes at one another.”

“I don't make  _ eyes _ at Robert.” Jesus Christ was he really that dense when it came to someone hitting on him? “Besides he has someone.”

“Just not like you to ask about the drivers and I know you too well bro, you didn't like Andy's comments.”  Aaron's head snapped to the side eyes wide with worry that he'd been that transparent but Adam shook his lightly with a shit eating grin. “Nah, Andy didn't notice. I just know all your ticks now don't I?”

“You're reading into things.”

“I've got my own eyes too ya know, haven't seen so much as a hair from him since I interrupted your lover's spat last week.”

“Piss off Adam.”

His friends face was still lit up by a grin before dimmed slightly and he knocked shoulders with Aaron. “Just be careful yeah? You know I'm not one to judge but that's got messy written all over it.”

“Well I'll remember that sage advice should anything ever actually be happening won't I?”

“Anyone ever tell you're grumpy when you're not getting laid?” Adam snarked back.

“Go away Adam.

“Sure sure, but uh before I do, does this mean you don't want his phone number?”

There was silence following his question, Aaron opening and closing his mouth about four times before finally deciding on a response. 

“Pass.”

  
  
  
  


So Adam sends him the number anyways because Adam might actually know him better than himself. Neither of them are big advocates for cheating but they do believe in a ‘if you think it's worth it try it’ kind of existence. Life comes at you fast and not everything can be perfect. Not everything goes smooth. 

The problem is however Aaron's not entirely sure what he feels towards Robert. Lust? Definitely. But beyond that? Well, he's got no idea.  The older man frustrates him, gets under his skin, and god knows whenever they're pressed up against each other Aaron's body practically yearns for more. The thing is though, is that enough to warrant the potential trouble? He could get sacked, they both could if caught. It would most certainly be a spectacle for the media if the why got leaked.

Honestly, he was getting ahead of himself because Robert might not even be interested anymore. Nine days has got to be a write off yeah? Sure Aaron had avoided him for nearly a week but they'd still  _ seen _ each other. Robert had ghosted him.

He should just delete the number.

He will delete it.

He doesn't delete it. 

Though to be fair he doesn't message Robert either. He waits instead. Waits to see if Robert will show up at the garage post vacation. Waits to see if he can gauge if Robert’s still interested. 

Except Robert doesn't show up the next day or the day after that and Aaron's starting to think his poorly thought out words did way more damage than he’d ever believed possible.

Eleven days.

He hasn't even  _ seen _ Robert is eleven fucking days. It shouldn't even matter. He shouldn't even care.  Three weeks ago he'd have considered this a blessing. Probably thrown a damn party in celebration but this isn't three weeks ago, it's eleven days later, and he can't get that sad confused look Robert had on his face towards the end out of his head. 

So he's finally gonna bite the bullet and do it and he does a whole three hours later at two in the morning when he's fairly certain Robert will be asleep.

**Aaron:** Hey, you awake?

He already regrets this and he knows he'll regret it more in five hours when Robert wakes and replies.

**Robert:** Who is this?

**Robert:** Try not texting the wrong number at nearly half past 2.

**Aaron** : So I see you're prat at over text as well as in person then.

There's a pause between messages, a long pause, and Aaron's starting to wonder if he's already being ignored this way too.

**Robert:** Aaron?

**Aaron:** Last I checked yeah, but always possible it's changed.

**Robert:** Goodnight Aaron.

**Aaron** : Robert wait..

**Aaron:** I'm sorry.

Apologies weren't easy and it felt to open, so he followed it up with what he hoped came across as playful.

**Aaron** : This is where you apologize now.

Aaron rubbed at the back of his neck now nervous Robert would have already tossed his phone aside. His hand left his neck only to move towards his mouth as Aaron worried away at the skin around his thumbnail. A relieved sigh escaping him when his phone vibrates.

**Robert:** Where /I/ apologize?

He could practically feel Robert's annoyance through his phone and it made him smile.

**Aaron:** Well yeah

**Aaron:** only seems fair

**Aaron:** you did bruise my back on the workbench

**Aaron:** So….

**Robert:** I'm sorry that you never learned you could write more than ten words per text before hitting send.

**Aaron:** Blow me.

He doesn't even think it through, just types it and hits send before he's even fully processed. Then he just stares at it because jesus christ Aaron. 

**Robert:** I'd fucking planned on it and you ruined it.

Aaron blinks, then blinks some more, shifts around slightly in his bed and tries to focus.

**Aaron:** When?

**Robert:** … is that even a real question? You're a virgin aren't you, that's why you're so bad at this because otherwise and I mean this genuinely, how are you this oblivious?

**Robert:** What did you think my intent was in the garage Aaron, Jesus Christ. 

**Aaron:** Yeah, again blow me, i don't know, and I think it's pretty clear I thought you were just being an asshole.

Aaron isn't  _ bad _ at flirting really, not when he knows that's what was happening. Robert though hadn't given any hints to his intent instead acting like a schoolboy with a crush and tugging on pigtails to show it.

Pushing up in bed so that he rested against his headboard Aaron blew out a breath before quickly typing another message before Robert could reply..

**Aaron:** You've been avoiding me.

**Robert:** Obviously.

He was such a twat 

**Aaron:** for fucks sake, Robert, I'm trying here.

**Robert** : Now who's playing games? You weren't interested, you made that very clear. Goodnight.

**Aaron:** ..night.

Frustrated Aaron tossed his phone aside and flopped down into his bed, dragging the sheets over his head. He'd try again tomorrow. For now he’d sleep and try and figure out when exactly the tables had turned.

 

 

 

As it turned out he didn't need to try again, Robert beat him too it. 

Aaron had woken midday grateful for a day off but an itch in his fingers to pester at Robert again, but trying again the second he woke up bordered on needy so instead he’d tossed his phone to the far side of his bed before climbing out and padding towards his bedroom door, snatching gym shorts from his floor as he walked.

Reaching the kitchen he pulled open his refrigerator and scratched absently at his chest only to frown when he realizes he had nothing to eat.

Wandering back to his room briefly he snagged his shoes and a possibly clean t-shirt before letting himself out of his flat and jogging towards the shop down the street.

Running usually cleared his head, his mind lulled into relaxing by the rhythmic sound of his feet slapping against pavement as life went on around him. Not today though, Robert seemed impossible to just ignore. At the very least he wanted to apologize properly, explain the confusion and a part of him was frustrated - honestly even angry - that Robert had refused him the chance. In fact the more he thought about it the more annoyed he was by it.

By the time he returned home eating was the last thing on his mind. He haphazardly shoved his grocery away and stormed off towards his room snatching his phone up as he dragged a hand through his sweaty hair ready to let Robert have it only to see a message from twenty minutes earlier.

**Robert:** Have you always been so poor at signals or is it a recent development?

He wanted to throttle him and mount him all at the same time. His attraction to Robert had been part of the problem. Robert was gorgeous, and he knew it. Knew how to play up his assets to which there were many. But the attraction had only made Aaron angry because he hadn't understood.

It was an entirely different story now.

**Aaron:** Consider instead you're shit at flirting.

**Robert:** I'm unbelievably charming in all ways all the time, Dingle.

**Aaron:** Do people actually find your arrogance attractive?

**Robert:** You do.

Aaron rolled his eyes but only had himself to blame, hed walked right into that one.

**Aaron:** I might.

This was going a lot better than the previous night or he thought It was until the quick responses had stopped. Maybe Robert thought he was playing games again. His finger tapping anxiously against his thigh he mumbled ‘fuck it’ before sending another quick text.

**Aaron:** I do.

The reply came almost instantly.

**Robert:** it's cute how eager you are for this conversation to continue, but don't worry I'm not ignoring you. I'm on a conference call with sponsors. Boring as hell, but occasionally I do have to focus on it.

**Aaron:** At least you're doing something, I'm still in bed.

**Robert:** Naked?

And just like that the tone of their conversation changed because yeah Robert had flirted a bit but now it seemed he'd taken Aaron’s propensity for being dense seriously and was handling things more directly.

For the first time since they'd met a month ago Aaron actually approved of his conversational tactics.

**Aaron:** Not at the moment, no.

**Robert** : How disappointing. 

**Robert:** What are you wearing then?

Aaron bit down on his lip, suddenly shy. He knew where this was going and knew himself enough to know he  _ did _ want it to go there but it didn't mean he did this sort of thing often.

**Aaron:** Just shorts, went for a run when I got up.

**Robert:** Is your dick as noticeable in them as mine was the other week?

He hadn't checked obviously but there was one thing Aaron did know for sure though, he wanted to  _ hear _ Robert say these things not read them.

**Aaron:** Is your call over? I'd rather not type.

His phone was ringing two seconds later. He didn't even get a hello out before Robert was talking.“Get them off.”

“Hello, Robert. I'm well yeah, how are you? Alone by chance?”

He was about eighty percent sure he heard Robert smother a laugh. “Dingle, get your fucking shorts off.”

“So much for charming” he grumbled.

This time Robert really did laugh and it wasn't the condescending one he was used to hearing around the garage or the laugh he used with Chrissie that had always sounded fake and strained not that anyone seemed to notice. This laugh was light and deep all at once, like it came from somewhere he didn't usually share and Aaron felt something warm unfurl in his chest.

“Do you need to be charmed?”

“Bit more wooing little less ego yea’? Be a bit nice s’all.” He sounded petulant. 

The silence that followed tipping towards uncomfortable when Robert's voice finally sounded down the line again.

“I want you naked for me, Aaron. I want you against your headboard legs spread wide.” His tone wasn't harsh but it carried authority and every word curved it's way around Aaron. Stroked down his spine and made his breath hitch. His tongue darting out to wet suddenly dry lips as Robert continued. “I want your free hand on your thigh, understood? Don't touch yourself yet.”

“ _ Fuck.  _ I-okay. _.”  _ He kicked out of his shorts flinging them halfway across the room and shuffled his way up the bed to rest against the headboard his fingers digging into his thigh his gaze locked between his legs. “Done.”

“Are you hard?”

“Kind of, and you?”

Instead of answering he ignored Aaron's question all together. “I had every intention of getting on my knees for you, you know?  Planned to stare up at you while you held me in place by my hair and take every fucking inch of you.”

It wrenched a groan from Aaron, his breathing heavy and his fingers flexing against his skin. “Rob..”

“That first day, when you had a go at me for my attitude. I wanted you so much it was an ache. I thought about how you'd feel under me. How you'd feel in me.”

Aaron’s eyes had fluttered shut, his breathing shallow, and his blunt nails dug into his thigh muscles and he wrestles for control 

“Do you fuck hard? I bet you do.” He sounded wistful and it left Aaron on edge.  “You like to grab a firm grip and slam in deep don't you, Aaron? Barely any finesse but you fill up every inch of someone. Make a person feel stretched and full like they were losing their fucking mind.”

“.... _ please. _ ”

“Go ahead, you can touch.”

He whimpered, honest to god whimpered, when his fingers closed around his length. A tentative squeeze before a lazy stroke up the length that ripped another equally embarrassing sound from him.

And that's when he finally heard it, Robert's own harsh breathing. Knowing Robert was just as keyed up as he was.  Fisting himself in his office to the idea of Aaron fucking him.

It made Aaron feel bold.

“I want...fuck I want you on your back the first time, I wanna use that grip on your hair to-to make you watch every time I push into you. Watch your eyes roll back when I-uh when I bottom out” He stuttered through it, stumbling a bit as his body came alive. 

His head bounced lightly off the headboard, he tried to use the sharp jab to ground himself, to hold off his release but couldn't unsee the visual of Robert spread open willingly for him.

He tightened his grip, slid his thumb over the tip and closed his eyes. Pictured Robert staring up at him and felt his dick twitch at the idea.

Aaron was hunched over, hair damp from sweat and plastered to his forehead, his hand finding and keeping the perfect rhythm. He was egged on by Roberts heavy breathing, the muttered curses. His grip tightened, his wrist twisting as he stroked up and he sucked in s breath. His hips jerked as he groaned softly 

“You sound so fucking good.” Robert whispered out.

It was the only thing said by either of them for a while. The only noise the sounds of their harsh breath as they both got closer and closer. Aaron felt the heat in his belly, felt his body tighten, and knew he wouldn't last much longer.  “Rob.

“W-What.”

“I want you to cum for me. I want to  _ hear  _ you cum.”

Robert made a strangled noise before he did exactly that. It was sudden and powerful and Robert cursed twice before just quietly repeating Aaron’s name again and again as he stroked himself through it and tried to pull himself back together.

He sounded so wrecked so surprised by it that it dragged Aaron with two seconds later and he came over his own fist with a shout of Robert’s name.

There was silence following, only broken up here or there by the sounds of their cleaning before Aaron let out a laugh. “Jesus.”

“Only a man, Aaron, despite what you may have heard.”

“You're an idiot.”

“I have my moments” and then abruptly. “Shit, I need to go. We'll talk soon.”

“What? Rob-” 

Robert blew out an irritated breath and Aaron frowned.

After a moment he could hear paperwork being shuffled around and when he realized what it would be or more likely  _ who _ would cause Robert to shut down so suddenly instantly felt stupid. 

Didn't bother to finish his sentence.

Robert caught on immediately. “It's not her, its Lawrence I can hear him down the hall.” His voice lowered, tone soft, as he tries to coax Aaron back around “'I’m sorry, don't be mad at me alright? I'll make it up to you later.”

Which meant Robert believed they were going to do this again and it went a long way in soothing him “So you'll be at the garage tomorrow?”

“Keen to see me are ya’?”

He was thankful Robert couldn't see his blush “Forget it.”

"I'm only teasin’ don't be like that.”

He was still embarrassed though, his voice gruff in reply. “You're supposed to be leaving now.”

“Bye, Aaron.” It was flirty, two words and Aaron could still feel the other man's affection in them. It made him feel good, made him forget all about Chrissie and Lawrence and the reason he shouldn't.

It made him smile.

For the first time in a long time something made him feel  _ happy _ . 

“Bye, Robert.”


	4. Just Move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So these updates keep getting bigger and bigger, but at least the wait time wasn't too terrible...right? All the feedback means the world to me though so thank you so much for every comment and kudo.

He'd woken with a smile, feeling better than he had in months, and it was a mood that had stayed with him through his shower the smile never slipping. Once dressed he made his way downstairs and into the kitchen where Adam clocked the good mood immediately. His friend watched him with a bemused smile of his own as Aaron hummed quietly to himself while pouring coffee into a mug and then topped it off with milk and a sugar.

“I take it the Great Sugden Silence of twenty seventeen is over then?”

Aaron’s had froze for a second before he finished snagging a bowl from the cupboard and glanced over his shoulder, his cheeks tinged red. “That obvious?”

“You're buzzing, mate.”

“Had a good night.

Adam leaned forward wiggling his eyebrows his own grin growing bigger. “Get lucky did ya’?”

“No. Yes. Kind of.” He flung a crumpled napkin at a snickering Adam before turning his back to his friend to pick a cereal.  “Shut up, Adam.”

“Don't hold out on me, I practically set you up.” He’d leaned back in his seat arms folded across his broad chest delight all over his face at being able to pick on his friend.

Aaron rolled his eyes as he slid into his seat and pointed his spoon towards a smug looking Adam. “Cheers, can always count on you to send me the number of attractive engaged men can’t I?”

Adam put his hands over his heart feigning hurt before he suddenly sobered, the teasing tone gone from his voice when he spoke again.

“You're gonna be careful aren't ya’? Him being engaged and all, to the boss's daughter no less.”

Aaron fought against a frown and glanced over at his best friend “You encouraged this, now you're warning me off him?”

“I'm asking if you're gonna be careful. Maybe it makes me a bad bloke to encourage it but you're smiling and I haven't seen you smile like that in months. Not since before your..” His voice trailed off but they both knew who he meant. _Gordon_. He hadn't smiled properly since Gordon had popped back up and everything had gone to hell.  Sensing Aaron wasn't going to speak up Adam quickly hurried on trying to smother the air of unease. “My point is, I'm not gonna warn you off him, I just don't want you to look for more than what he's actually offering.”

Aaron frowned down at his breakfast his good mood slowly souring and stabbed at the Frosties with his spoon. “Seein’ as you know him so well and all what exactly is it you think he's offering?”

“A fun shag.”

Abruptly Aaron pushed away from the table his chair scraping unpleasantly against the floor as he went to deposit his bowl into the sink. “For the record, we had a wank over the phone. I'm not writing in my diary about forevers, thanks.”

“Aaro-”

“But good to know your opinion.”  He left Adam calling after him and stomped back up to his room. He wasn't entirely sure why he was so angry. It _had_ only been phone sex and Aaron _wasn't_ looking for more but still…

The idea that a shag was _all_ Robert was after, was _all_ Adam thought Robert would want from him, well it didn't speak highly of Aaron in his own opinion. Mostly it stung.

Grabbing his wallet and jacket he clambered back down the stairs and shot through the kitchen towards the front door giving Adam the silent treatment, ignoring the frown on his friend's face as he slammed the door shut behind him.

Adam would corner him eventually and Aaron would forgive him but for now he had every intention of keeping his bad mood on.

 

 

Twenty minutes later he found himself nursing said bad mood over a coffee from a cafe near the garage. It was barely past nine and he wouldn't be expected at the garage until nearly noon, the rest following in around one. It was a Saturday which was normally an off day but Robert’s car still wasn't running to his lofty standards and with races not too far off a couple of them had agreed to the extra hours, albeit a late start.

Aaron always liked to get their before everyone else, check over part orders and make sure things were alright.  There was a reason he had the lead spot at only twenty-five.

Now though he wished he had anything at all to do. The idea of killing three hours in the cafe wasn't appealing and the dark haired lad in glasses not so subtly staring at him from across the room wasn't helping.

Fishing his phone out of his pocket he chewed at the corner of his lip before shrugging and unlocked his screen. Pulling open his messages he staunchly ignores Adam’s three text messages and instead clicked into his conversation with Robert, his fingers moving quickly across the screen.

_You busy?_

He figured he'd have to wait a moment for the text but the response comes almost instantly, the lack of a delay making him smile brightly, warmth flickering through his chest.

_Bored out of fucking mind._

It twitches a smile onto Aaron’s face, the first since his conversation with Adam.

_I'm at the cafe near the garage._

_Bob's something or other._

_Join me?_

This time Robert's reply takes a couple minutes but it pulls a laugh out of him, loud enough for people to turn and look at him and he smothers his smile as he rereads the message.

_The way you text is physically painful to witness. If you start using emojis I'm blocking your number._

He doesn't say yes or no to Aaron’s invite and with Adam’s words still banging around in his head he doesn't ask again not wanting to seem clingy. Instead he turns his screen off and sets his phone aside and waits, his finger tapping against the screen as he does.

He also notices that Glasses has inched his way closer.

It's not that the kid is hideous or anything, he's cute in bookish way actually seems vaguely familiar, Aaron just isn't interested. Too late he realizes he should have kept his phone open and attention on it because he's got no way to avoid the looming conversation without making an embarrassing scene in a very public place.

 

 

So Glasses is named Finn, and he's been rambling on about something called Death Note coming to Netflix and how he wishes it wouldn't and he's been rambling about it for nearly fifteen minutes. He also keeps finding excuses to touch Aaron, it started with a touch to his arm and then his hand and most recently his knee as he leaned forward laughing and Aaron’s got the same polite smile fixed on his face he did when Finn first sat beside him.

As the smile finally starts to dim at the corners and his eyes begin to glaze over Aaron is seriously starting to consider if throwing himself under an espresso machine and letting scolding hot water end it all is worth it - It _has_ to be less painful than this. - when the front door opens and Robert’s slender frame appears.

He'd actually shown up.

He watches Robert’s gaze wander around the cafe before it spots him in the corner and before Aaron can do anything he feels Finn’s hand squeeze at his knee again and knows the second Robert’s clocked the movement himself.  His right eyebrow arches up in a way Aaron’s never been able to master and when Finn glances down at his drink Aaron seizes the moment to  send Robert a pleading look. Silently begging for help.

Robert fucking _smirks_ back at him.

And then he steps into the queue, doesn't spare Aaron another look, and Aaron’s never wanted to throttle him more.

He doesn't have time to dwell on it though because Finn’s taken his lapse in silence as approval and this time when his hand touches Aaron it's bolder, resting brazenly on his thigh. _High_ on his thigh.

If Aaron was interested he’d have been impressed by the move but he’s barely spoken since Finn sat down and he’s not sure how the lad could think this was ok.  “Uh, Finn..”

Unfortunately he doesn't know what to say. He's not thrilled by their close proximity but he's not aiming to embarrass the other man either and he can’t figure out a way to say ‘Please don’t fondle me’ without upsetting the man and Finn's clearly not creepy, just intense, and Aaron would guess inexperienced at flirting.

“Yes?” He sounds so hopeful and his fingers contract against Aaron’s thigh again gently.

But in the end it isn't Aaron that responds to him.

“If you want to grope your boyfriend, mate, maybe do it somewhere less public. Some of us want to keep the coffee we drink down, not retch it back up.”

Finn’s shoulders sag and he snatches his hand back at the exact same moment Aaron turns with a sneer at whoever spoke only to find himself staring at a bored looking Robert. The older man's long frame folded into one of the chairs near them, coffee resting on his knee

Aaron’s sneer fades as quickly as it came and truthfully he almost buys Robert's bored indifference himself but the agitated way Robert’s finger taps against his coffee cup gives him away. He’s still not thrilled Robert took a swipe at Finn like that but he lets it pass or _would_ have had Robert not kept going.

Robert for his part hadn’t spared Aaron a single glance, all his focus settled on Finn, and Aaron had argued with him enough to know that calculating expression.  “He _is_ your boyfriend, correct?”

“No, he’s- I I mean to say I hope. Actually um, I was about to ask him out. But it’s not..why is it your business?”

Aaron just manages not to wince at that, there's no need to add to the other embarrassment. He does however openly scowl at Robert only growing more annoyed as his attention properly settles on the older man because _fuck_ does Robert look good.

Even in spite of his arrogance being turned up to eleven, maybe even because of it. He had on dark blue jeans that fit way better than should ever be allowed, the denim snug across his thighs and he’d paired it with a maroon jumper black leather jacket combo that had Aaron's mouth going dry. His reaction was bordering on pathetic and he shifted around in his seat his own jeans suddenly uncomfortable. Watched the corner of Robert's mouth twitch as he took notice of Aaron’s movement.

But Robert’s real focus remained on Finn and his eyebrow arched up towards his hairline in a sign of overly dramatic and clearly fake shock. “Often grope strangers then do you?”

“I-I wasn't” Finn stuttered.

“Don't be a prat.” Aaron snapped.

They'd spoken at the same time and Finn sent him a small smile in thanks before darting a look towards the door and then back to Aaron, his silent question obvious and Aaron watched Robert tense out of the corner of his eye obviously understanding as well. The smug bastard could do with getting kicked down a peg or two. “Yeah alright.”

For one brief moment fury flickered unchecked across Robert's face and Aaron _almost_ reconsidered.  Pushing up from his chair Aaron trailed Finn out of the cafe and didn't dare look back at Robert.

But he felt the older man's gaze drilling into the back of his head with every step

 

 

He expected Robert to come after him, frowning when he doesn't. He'd been so sure the other man would understand the game, would be interested, and he feels unease flare up in his stomach, wonders if maybe he took it too far. He had been the one to invite Robert to the cafe after all.

He ends up being too preoccupied by thoughts of Robert and he ends up exchanging numbers with Finn automatically, doesn't even realize what he's done until Finn's already off in a taxi and he's blinking down at a new contact in his phone. “Shit.”

“Pathetic.”

He spins around and finds Robert behind him his face blank but Aaron can hear it in his tone, Aaron can _feel_ it, because jealousy is radiating off of the other man. It should make Aaron feel better but after Robert’s display inside it just annoys him and it’s ironic since Robert is _engaged_..

“This your big plan then?” and Aaron’s realizing Robert thinks he's been set up. Considering their phone call the day before that's idiotic because this is purely reactionary to Robert’s piss poor attitude and condescending nature. The same thing they’ve always argued about.  Aaron had wanted saving from Finn true enough but there wasn't a need to embarrass him and talk down to him. To go out of his way to make Finn feel as bad as possible.

“Don't be daft, I don't even know him.”

“Took his number though.” His voice drops, irritation evident, but it's the tone he has like he's disgusted that gets to Aaron most. Like he's judging Aaron.

In response to it Aaron’s chin juts out defiantly. “Seems I did, me being single and all. Unlike some.”

Roberts suddenly in his space, crowding him up against a car and Aaron’s trapped, can only blink up at him with wide eyes. “Get in the car, Aaron."

And then he's gone, storming across the parking lot and leaving Aaron to follow in his wake, not bothering to even question that Aaron would follow behind and honestly Aaron’s not exactly pleased with himself when he barely even hesitates before doing as ordered.

 

 

 

The cars nice, nicer than anything Aaron’s ever been inside let alone owned, and exactly what Aaron expected of someone like Robert. It's a beautiful blue and Aaron knows enough about cars that he doesn't need Robert to tell him the make and model.

But Robert's superficial and his vain nature overrides his temper and so he does it anyway, god forbid he not take a chance to gloat. “Audi R8 Spyder, obviously new.”

“Obviously” Aaron’s not sure if it's his tone or the eyeroll he didn't bother to hide but suddenly Robert’s pissy again and he climbs into his car with a scowl, slamming his door with force.

Sighing Aaron opens the passenger door and slides into the car making it a point to close the door gently and watches Robert’s long fingers flex around the steering wheel. Without a word between them the car rumbles to life and Robert stabs at a preset station, tugs his sunglasses from his hair to settle them on his face, and Aaron barely manages to get his seatbelt on before they’re flying out of the parking lot and weaving through traffic in a way that makes Aaron’s stomach roll and his fingers dig into the handle of his door.

“Robert”

He gets nothing but silence.

“ _Robert._ ”

Those long limbs of his shift gears but still he ignores Aaron.

Aaron can feel the panic coming and hides from it with anger. “Would you fucking slow down, this isn’t a race.”

Robert still ignores him but to  Aaron’s relief they have to stop for a red light and he twists in his seat and gets ready to have it out with Robert but instead of looking at him the other man simply lifts a hand to press a button and Aaron watches the roof retract back into it’s storage space. A second later they’re flying down the street again.

He’d have to shout to get Robert’s attention now but he doesn’t have the focus for it and as Robert cuts someone off before accelerating Aaron slides down in his seat his eyes clenched shut and his trembling fingers digging painfully into his own leg. Robert takes the turn for Home Farm at a speed that can only be described as stupid and Aaron’s body jostles against the door.

He’s not sure if it’s the sound of his shoulder connecting with the door or the sound of distress he makes but the cars slowing until it’s well below the limit for the road they’re on. Aaron’s eyes remained tightly closed, his fingers still clutching at his jeans, and his body held tense. The second the car finally comes to a stop Aaron’s scrambling from it, stumbling across the parking lot and ignoring Robert as he calls after him.

His hands are shaking so badly he can’t get the door open and he feels Robert near him, jerks when the older man settles a hand over his and carefully takes the key from him. A moment later he opens the door and steps back to let Aaron in first.

Robert doesn’t speak until Aaron’s dealt with the security system, until he’s put distance between them and has his hands braced against a work bench while he breathes in and out trying to calm himself down.

“I’m sorry.”

It’s not what Aaron expects and it startles him, he’d expected cocky and unapologetic, but when Aaron turns slowly  he finds Robert still near the door fidgeting with his sunglasses before he slots them back into place on top of his head, it reminds him of the other day when Robert’s facade had finally dropped.

“I didn’t realize… I was mad at you.”

“So I fucking gathered.”

Suddenly Robert’s long legs have him across the garage and in front of Aaron in a few steps and he glares, clearly remembering why he was mad to begin with. “You _left_ with him.”

“I walked outside with him you git.” he doesn’t bother to tack on ‘you were meant to follow’ because he thinks it’s obvious.

“You knew what he wanted.” Robert goes to respond but Aaron silences him with a light shove. “Trying to get us killed is a bit of an overreaction.”

Robert rolled his eyes so hard Aaron was amazed he didn’t pull something. “You were never in danger.”

“I forgot you’re all seeing, don’t know how with that fucking god complex.” Aaron snaps.

“I _drive_ , for a living Aaron, I can handle a ten minute drive to work just fine.”

“Go home, Robert.”

The blond is silent for a moment and Aaron watches the anger drain from him before he shakes his head softly. “You took his phone number.”

A part of Aaron still wants to tell him to get lost again but that vulnerable side has slipped past Robert’s defenses again and he can’t bring himself to do it. Instead he leans back against the table, his arms folding across his chest as he watches Robert. “Not on purpose.”

Robert perks up a bit at that but stays quiet as he waits for Aaron to elaborate.

“I was too busy wondering why you hadn’t followed and agreed without thinking.” He gave a half hearted shrug. “He was already gone by the time I’d realized what had happened. Then you popped up running your mouth again. Speaking of, there wasn’t a need to be so rude in the cafe.”

“He was all over you.”

“And?”

Robert’s lips flattened but he refused to answer and Aaron rolled his eyes before letting his gaze wander around the garage, a sigh passing his lips. Today hadn’t gone remotely as he’d planned. It was hard to believe that they’d gotten each other off over the phone less than twelve hours ago. He frowned before letting his gaze settle on his feet refusing to look up at Robert again.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

A beat of silence and then confusion.

“ _What_?” Aaron lifts his gaze to find Robert frowning - no absolutely scowling - at him. “Because of one argument? or is this because your car phobia thing?”

“I don’t have a ‘car phobia thing’ you prat.” He’d used air quotes in mockery so Robert knew exactly how stupid he was for that question. “We barely even get along.”

“You do, and it’s how we flirt.”

“I have a car you know, just because I don’t want to die in one doesnt mean I have a phobia.” Aaron replied.

“You practically had a panic attack, you were _begging_ me to slow down.”

“Not a fucking chance, I don’t beg.” Aaron pushed away from the table and was poking at Robert’s chest. Something hot flashed in Robert’s gaze and Aaron felt a return heat climb up his spine. Robert hadn’t been wrong, this was how they flirted at least when alone. It was clear the addition of Finn had thrown their dynamic off. “Not for anything, not for any _one_.”

It was a challenge and they both knew it and the smile that lit up Robert’s face did wonders for Aaron’s own mood and suddenly none of it mattered anymore and he was back to the good mood he’d woken up with.  

“Your jealousy was almost cute” he teased and in response Robert crowded Aaron up against the table, his hands on either side of him bracketing him in.

“You’re gonna pay for it you know? Waltzing out of there with him, taking his number? I don’t share well.”

Just like it had outside Aaron’s chin jutted out in defiance but his hands found their way to Robert’s waist pulling him closer “I’m terrified, mate.”

“You should, you’ll be in certain agony.” He leaned his head down his mouth brushing over Aaron’s jaw and over to his ear his voice lowering at the same time his fingers brushed lightly against Aaron’s crotch smirking as the younger man jerked in response. “You’ll definitely be begging.”

Aaron ignored that and instead twisted his head to the side so he could pull Robert into a kiss, moaned softly into the other man’s mouth as Robert started to work on the snap of Aaron’s jeans. Robert wasted no time in shoving his hand into the space created and seconds later his fingers were curving around Aaron’s length, the young mechanics breath hitching at the sensation.

“Did you imagine it was my hand last night?” his hand slowly stroked the length of Aaron’s growing erection and Aaron nodded his head quickly, his hands fluttering around before coming to rest on Robert’s shoulders, fingers gripping in tight as his hips lifted into Robert’s stroke. “You sounded so good, so needy. Don’t hide that from me now.”

“‘’m not.”

“But you’re so quiet?” His hand’s pace picked up slightly and he watched Aaron bite down on his lip as his head fell back. “Aaron?”

“Thinking's too hard.”

Robert’s laugh was soft, sweet even, and he pressed a kiss to Aaron’s temple before twisting his wrist on the down stroke. “That’s not the only thing.” a brief pause and then. “Do you want my mouth?”

“ _Christ yes_.”

Aaron’s eyes had gone wide and he nodded quickly his hands moving up over Robert’s neck and into his blond hair to grip at it tightly, giving a reflexive tug that had Robert biting back his own groan. Another laugh rumbling free as Aaron pushed him towards his knees and went without argument. Reluctantly - and clearly to Aaron’s unhappiness - he released his grip and pulled his hand from Aaron’s jeans watching the man pout down at him.

“It’ll be worth it, don’t worry.”

Hooking his fingers in Aaron’s jeans he started to pull them down until they pooled around Aaron’s ankles and then leaned forward to mouth at Aaron through his boxers. Breathed in the scent that was uniquely Aaron and lowered a hand to palm at his own arousal. “Rob..”

“Say please.”

“ _Fuck off._ ”

Robert leaned forward again and mouthed around the shape of Aaron’s dick, let his tongue press into the fabric, licked at the length, and then pulled back to smirk at the wet spot it left behind. “Keep being rude and I’ll st-”

Both of them froze at the sound of a car door slamming shut and Robert scrambled up to his feet before bolting around the table, putting distance between Aaron and himself, as his hands fussed with his hair. He flashed Aaron a sympathetic smile as he watched the other man struggle to get his pants back up, Aaron wincing when the denim dragged over his hard-on.

No sooner had Aaron gotten his jeans snapped did the garage door clatter open with Ross and Pete bounding in. Luckily they were too busy snipping at one another - unheated and clearly a brotherly thing - and so Aaron was able to go snag a pair of overalls and step into them before anyone noticed the very obvious problem he had.

Eventually though the brothers took notice of the pair, Pete the first to speak. “Didn’t expect you to be early Sugden.”

“More like show at all.”

Robert’s face clouded over and Aaron sighed before snagging Robert by the elbow and moving him away from the brothers and towards his car, squeezing at his elbow. “Don’t kick off, they’re doing you a favor.”

“They interrupted you mean.”

“Yeah well, this place is clearly cursed.”

It took Robert a second to catch on - this being the third time they were interrupted in some capacity at Home Farm -  but quickly enough he was laughing lightly and then flickering a quick look at the Barton’s to make sure they were far enough away before speaking. “I’ll make it up to you after, your place.”

“If you behave, maybe.” Robert didn’t have time to verbally reply before Pete and Ross made their way over, Adam stumbling into the garage late as usual, but the grin on his face told Aaron everything he needed to know.

 

 

“Rob, fuck, come on.” He'd bottomed out, deep inside Aaron, and then gone completely still.  Waited until Aaron had gotten used to the stretch and then had simply just waited even longer. Only smirked as Aaron's hips had started to roll under him on their own, desperate for Robert to do something, anything at all. “ _Move_.”

But he didn't, he just watched Aaron buck under him, watched the frustration grow. Felt Aarons nails start to dig into his forearms and quickly grabbed the other man’s wrists in response before he pinned them above his head. Robert let his full weight settle against Aaron next, managed to sink in impossibly deeper somehow. “Robert, I swear-if you don't. If you don't fucking _move_ …”

“Say it.”

“ _Robert_.” He sounded desperate. So fucking needy to his own ears. The other man's name practically a sob.

But the older man still didn't move and Aaron felt like he was going to come apart at the seams. Felt tears of frustration well up in the corners of his eyes. Robert either didn’t notice or ignored it because the only thing he did was lean forward so that he could  drag his mouth across Aaron’s jaw and over to his ear, breath hot against Aaron’s skin.

Robert’s fingers lifted away from one of his wrists to slide through Aaron’s hair, pushing the curls off his sweaty forehead, lips twitching in a smirk against Aaron’s ear. Voice heavy with his own need when he spoke. “Aaron, just say it. One little word and you can have everything you want, one word and I'll give it to you.”

Why, why did he make that stupid comment about never begging in the garage earlier? He should have taken Robert’s threats seriously.

They stumbled through Aaron’s front door, refusing to break the kiss they’d started once both of them were out of the car, and slammed into a wall. Aaron had laughed and then abruptly moaned when Robert had rocked their hips together, denim clad crotches rubbing together in a way that made Aaron’s eyes cross.  The stairs had been a challenge but they’d managed kiss and all before shoving Aaron’s bedroom door open. He’d stripped his shirt quickly and then Aaron had been shoved up against his bedroom door again, watched Robert drop to his knees and sucked in a breath. Anticipation making his legs shake as Robert dragged his jeans down and then his boxers.

 

Breathed out an uneven breath as his fingers slid through Robert’s hair again, used that grip to push Robert’s face forward and was left reeling when instead of taking him into his mouth Robert pressed a kiss to his stomach and then stood back up.

He’d been in a special kind of hell ever since.

Because Robert absolutely one hundred and ten percent intended to deny Aaron ever last inch of real satisfaction until he did as requested. As _told_ honestly.

His hips rolled under Robert again but it was useless, more tease than relief, and his voice cracked as the words burst from him.  Because he couldn’t fucking take it anymore.

“Please. _Please Robert_ , please just fucking move. I need you..I need.. _fuck._ ”

Robert's hips suddenly snapped forward, hard enough that Aaron’s body inched up the bed at the same time a shudder wracked through him. Robert braced himself above Aaron watching his face as he drove in again and again at a relentless pace.

Watched as Aaron’s eyes rolled back and his self controlled shattered into nothing as Robert caught his prostate. One of his hands slipped away from Aaron’s hair to track it's way across the younger man's face, his thumb resting on Aaron’s bottom lip tugging at it softly.

“Look at you.”

Aaron's lips parted on a whine, eyes wide, and his hips bucked when suddenly Robert took a harsh grip on his hair forcing Aaron to look down between them. “What was it you said on that call Aaron? You wanted me to _watch_ as you fucked me? Wanted me to see myself take every last inch of you?”

He pulled back only to abandon his harsh pace and slowly, tortuously, pushed back in. “What’s that like then?”

Aaron's mouth floundered open and closed but his gaze never wavered. He'd whine softly when Rob almost pulled completely out only to moan loudly when the other man would start to push back in. His eyes unfocused when Rob finally tipped his head back so they could look at each other, fingers feathered across his jaw, a smug grin curving his lips up when Aaron tried to look back down between them.

“Do you want to watch Aaron?”

“Y-yes..”

“Then say it.” His fingers flexed lightly against the smooth skin of Aaron’s neck and he watched as Aaron struggled to understand.  Eyes still unfocused and hips lifting eagerly, if not automatically, to meet Roberts slow pace.

“Aaron?”

“I don't..” He interrupted himself with a groan,  eyes rolling back, and his mouth going slack as Rob shifted his weight. As Robert moved him slightly so that he caught his prostate dead on with every stroke. Words slurred when he finally managed to speak. “I dunno”

It punched a soft laugh out of Robert who leaned down, hovering his lips over Aaron’s before his tongue darted out to slide over the seam of Aaron’s. Licked his way into Aaron’s mouth and coaxed the young man's tongue into his own mouth, not that it took much convincing.

The kiss was sloppy, Aaron too far gone to focus properly on it and Robert swallowed each whimper and whine from the other man with glee.

He abandoned his slow pace for hard, let go of Aaron's hair so he could freely look down between them and then let that hand slid between them, wrapped his fingers around Aaron, and mumbled a curse when Aaron clenched around him. “Come on, come for me. Just like last time.”

“ _Fuck Robert_ ”

His hips bucked hard and then he was falling, coming over Robert’s hand. His fingers tugging painfully at Robert’s hair as his back arched his body going tight. It was the best thing Robert had ever seen.  

He was still driving into Aaron when the young man finally started to pull himself together his gaze settling on Robert’s face as shaky fingers lifted to stroke across his freckled cheek “You gotta…”

“I will.” He would too, wrapped tightly in Aaron’s body.

But then Aaron was shoving at his shoulder, pushing Robert away, and he frowned confused and unhappy when Aaron _kept_ pushing. “Aaron what the hell.”

“Come on, get off.”

“I didn’t.. Aaron?” But he was moving anyways, because Aaron had asked him too. Frowning at both the loss of how it felt to be deep in Aaron and because he didn’t understand why he was being denied when he was right there. When Aaron had known he hadn’t cum yet.

He sat back on his heels unsure what to do next when suddenly he was on his back blinking up at the ceiling stupidly halfway down Aaron’s throat. “ _Oh_.”

He felt Aaron’s nose bump against skin, felt Aaron’s tongue press flat against him and his hips bucked. It was messy and loud, Aaron bobbing up and down his length stopping to first lick at and then suck the tip only to gleefully swallow down every inch of Robert again.

Robert’s eyes rolled back, his hands clawed at Aaron’s shoulders, and he came loudly when Aaron started to hum happily the vibrations making Robert actually shout out his release.

Aaron didn’t stop though, sucked Robert through his orgasm, and then licked him clean after until Robert was whimpering and pushing him away. Until Robert had him by his elbows and hauled him up to lay against his chest.

They laid there quietly, breathing heavy, until Robert broke the silence. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“You never asked.”

“Yeah, yeah of course, my mistake normally the flirt thing I ask a fit bloke.”

Aaron laughed quietly into Robert’s neck, nuzzling closer. “You think I’m fit?”

“Find you hideous actually.” It was a joke but Aaron stiffened and Robert vaguely remembered what he thought was scars scattered across Aaron’s stomach, too busy with Aaron’s lower half to pay them much attention. Robert tightened his grip on Aaron to keep him from leaving and pressed his lips to the younger man's temple. “You’re gorgeous and you know it.”

Aaron seemed to relax at that and Robert felt his lips brush against his neck, he’d guess for understanding right away. After a few seconds Aaron lifted his head to look up at Robert “You need to leave?”

“Not anytime soon

“Yeah?”

“She’s out of town.” The smile that had appeared on Aaron’s face dimmed slightly at her mention but he recovered quickly, didn’t make a big deal out of it, and instead pressed his face into Robert’s neck again much preferring that.

“Maybe we could get tea?”

“Maybe I’ll even cook it.”

“You’ll have Adam crashing the meal, mate. We’re confirmed bachelors, nether of us can do anything beyond order something or make a bowl of cereal. He’d kill for home cooked.”

Robert sighed dramatically “The youth of today, always such a disappointment.”


	5. Communication Breakdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this update took a little bit, sorry buddies. I'm going to try and update at LEAST once a month moving forward though so there shouldn't be this long of a wait again.
> 
> As always all your feedback its appreciated and tbh motivates me.
> 
> Feel free to shout at me on tumblr @robertisbisexual

He woke slowly, his body protesting, and his eyes staying closed. He wasn’t ready to let go of such a perfect dream and tried to will himself back to sleep even as his hips rocked up and he gripped tight to the visual of Robert on his knees, head bouncing off his race car, and gagging on Aaron’s length. That sarcastic mouth stretched around him, expressive eyes wide, as he took everything Aaron gave him. Letting his eyes flutter open he rubbed at his face, before his hips jerked again, and he became abruptly aware of what exactly had inspired that dream. 

He glanced down, mouth suddenly dry, and watched Robert’s head dip down, watched Robert take as much of Aaron into his mouth as he could and hollow his cheeks.

“ _ Jesus Chris _ t”  his hand reached out to stroke a thumb across Robert’s cheek, shuddered at the feel of himself in Robert’s mouth and it just seemed to spur Robert on. The older man shifting between Aaron’s legs as he tried to take more of him down never once breaking eye contact before finally pulling free with a filthy sound.

“Rob..”

He grinned, leaned forward slightly, and pressed a kiss to the tip of Aaron’s dick. 

“Morning.”

By the time they’d finally managed to leave his room last night it had been nearly midnight, Adam long since off to bed, and they’d scraped together a quick meal before the need to touch had overridden everything and for the second time that day they kissed and stumbled their way into Aaron’s bedroom. He’d refrained from asking Robert to spend the night and Robert hadn’t bothered to say he should leave. Aaron wasn’t entirely certain what that meant but he wasn’t going to question it, not when it meant he’d fallen asleep with Robert and his long limbs wrapped around him. But that had been then and this was now and he really should have known this would be how Robert woke him up.

“How long?”

“Not long, you woke me with your mumbling, groaning  _ and _ pleading. Demanding really, I wanted to help.” 

This time when Robert leaned forward to suck at the tip of Aaron’s dick again he felt Aaron’s finger catch in his hair,and he tried to smother a smug smirk as he glanced up through his lashes as if he could ever be shy. 

“You kept  _ ordering _ me to take it actually, is this you telling me you want to be in charge for a bi-?”

Aaron was moving before Robert had even finished speaking, upending a laughing Robert and hauling himself up the length of the other man's body to push back into his mouth. Smirked as Robert”s laugh ended on a gag. He was straddling Robert’s chest and sat back slightly to give Robert a couple seconds to get used to him and then he was pushing forward again.

He didn't last long.

Though in his defense Robert had started before he’d woken up.

On his third thrust forward he came down Robert’s throat with no warning. He ended up pinning Roberts head into the mattress forcing him to swallow everything not that the older man seemed to have an complaints about it and he didn't actually move away until he felt Robert slap him not so gently on the ass.

Pulling his hips back he dropped onto his back breathing hard and turned his head to watch Robert rub at his mouth with the back of his hand, it was a sight that was way more attractive than it had any right to be.

“Sorry.”

“For what?” The older man looked over at him, confusion evident.

“Didn't warn you.”

It punched a laugh from Robert, and the sound curved its way around Aaron’s heart even though he knew he shouldn't let it. “Do you hear me complaining?”

“Guess not.”

Robert moved then, ended up hovering over Aaron before kissing him softly and Aaron melted into the other man without a moment's hesitation. 

He was in so much trouble.

"You guess, huh?” 

Aaron hummed in agreement before his arms slid around Robert’s waist to pull him closer. They'd need breakfast soon, Robert would need to leave soon, and eventually Aaron would need to consider what all of this meant but for now he was content to do nothing but exchange lazy kisses with Robert.  
  
  


Eventually the kisses had turned into comfortable silence as they laid on their sides facing each other across Aaron’s bed. It was almost noon and Robert was  _ still  _ there and it was feeling less and less like a one off and more and more like something that would most likely change Aaron’s life one way or another.

The little bit of light that slipped through his blinds cast a glow over Robert’s face and Aaron couldn’t help but admire just how beautiful the older man was again. He’d done that a long since the first day they’d met if he was being honest. In the silence between them he studied the slope of Robert’s nose and the dust of freckles across his cheeks. The Robert he’d seen over the past couple of days was different and sure it was only by degrees but it was there. He seemed to soften when it was just the two of them as if he didn’t feel the need to project what he considered the “best” version of Robert Sugden. 

It made something warm unfurl in his chest.

But Aaron still wasn’t ready to ask about what any of this meant so instead he picked a different topic and in hindsight probably something that wasn’t any safer.

“Did you always want to race or is it just about Andy?”

“I don’t do  _ anything _ for Andy.” Robert snapped.

Aaron didn’t believe that, he’d watched the brothers interact enough times in the garage to know better. Had seen the reactions Robert had when jabs were made. Andy dictated a large portion of Robert’s actions whether the other man felt like admitting it or not. 

Instead of responding Aaron kept quiet, tucked his hands under his head as they lay their facing each other and just watched Robert quietly again. The older man had a crease between his eyes Aaron felt the urge to kiss away but wasn't sure it would be appreciated, eventually Robert took it upon himself to break the silence. 

“We’re not really brothers you know. He’s not  _ actually _ a Sugden.”

“Not sure that’s how adoption works, Mate.” Robert scowled at him, clearly displeased Aaron wasn’t taking his side. “Besides, weren’t you adopted by your mum too?”

It had been the wrong thing to say because Robert had gone rigid across from him and Aaron moved quickly to try and smooth things over, regretting his words instantly.

“I’ve just seen articles on ya’. Andy mentions your family sometimes when we’re all out. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“ _ She’s  _ **_my_ ** _ mum _ .” his voice cracked, fractured apart really, and Aaron felt his heart do the same at the wealth of feelings delivered in such a small sentence. 

“I wasn’t…,Robert, that’s  _ not  _ what I meant.”

“Then what  _ did _ you mean.”

But instead of responding Aaron frowned as Robert pushed himself out of the bed, body tense as he snatched his briefs from the floor and jerked them on.

“Are you leaving?” Aaron questioned.

Robert wouldn't look at him and Aaron bit back his own irritation, tried to be understanding of the situation. Robert thought it seemed just couldn't help being himself and maybe Aaron had been wrong, maybe  _ this  _ was the real Robert. 

“This was a mistake,” he turned then frowning at Aaron. “You were a mistake.”.

Aaron had clambered over to Robert’s side of the bed, arm reaching out to touch the older man in an attempt to calm him down but at Robert's words he’d frozen.

That hurt, after the weeks of dancing around each other that had hurt. Which was exactly what Robert had intended. Aaron had hurt him, albeit unintentionally, and Robert had lashed out with intent. Just as swiftly as it had hurt him it turned  again, it made him angry.

“Get the fuck out of my house, Robert.” 

It has already been Robert’s intention, that much was obvious,  his jeans already on and shirt in hand but as Aaron had learned weeks ago Robert was nothing if not frustrating and Aaron’s demand seemed to have the opposite effect on him. He’d paushed, his t-shirt hanging lip at his side, and let his gaze flicker over Aaron. 

“Why are  _ you _ angry? You don't get to be angry, you insulted  _ me. _ ”

“I should have listened to Adam, proper pathetic innit?” He'd climbed from the bed finally and gave Robert a hard shove back, sending the taller man stumbling slightly, his shirt slipping to the floor forgotten as he squared back up to Aaron his own temper rising in tandem with Aaron’s. “Got what you wanted didn't ‘ya? Now you can run back to Chrissie pretend to be straight again or whatever you are but if you think you can go back to treating me like shit, you'd be dead wrong.”

“Wait a second, you're the one who mentioned my mum. You said she wasn't-you didn't have any right, Aaron.” Robert dug his heels in then and scowled suddenly as Aaron's words penetrated his confusion. “What does Adam have to do with anything?”

“Why does it matter, I'm just a mistake yeah?” 

He'd gone to shove at Robert's chest again but Robert had been ready for it. He caught Aaron by the wrists and tugged him forward so that they were practically nose to nose. Robert's gaze flickering across Aaron’s face. The tight set if his jaw, the flash or anger, and something else in his eyes and Robert finally caught on. 

“Aaron…” He frowned, everything had spiraled so quickly, and his tone softened. “I shouldn't have said that to you, you're not a mistake.” 

When Aaron didn't soften in return he kept going, rambled a bit honestly. “My mum, even Andy probably, I don't talk about them often. I don't...I don't react well to it, but I was out of line. I shouldn't have said that to you.”

Aaron sneered up at him. Still angry. Still not willing to forgive. So Robert did something he almost never did.

“I'm sorry.”

Two simple words, said quietly without any qualifiers,  Robert Sugden accepting blame. It took the fight right out of Aaron. He looked tired suddenly, felt tired really, and gave a half-hearted shrug of his shoulders. 

“Maybe you're right, maybe it is a mistake.”

And Aaron was faced with the hard fact that in all reality it  _ was _ a mistake he was making. Robert had someone waiting for him, maybe not today, but she was there. She’d always be there. Whatever last night had been it shouldn’t have happened. He shouldn't, couldn't, let it happen again even if the thought of pulling away from Robert long term made every last inch of him ache.

“I wasn’t.”

“No, I think you were.” Gently he pulled at his wrists and after a moment of hesitation Robert let him go. Ducking down he picked up Robert’s t-shirt and pushed it against his chest. “You should go.”

“Aaron come on, I say stupid things all the time you know this.” He’s frowning now too though, glances down at Aaron’s hand as it pushed insistently but gently at Robert’s chest waiting for him to take his shirt. “That’s all this was.”

Aaron’s not looking at him anymore though. He’s staring at a stain on the carpet next his feet. He’s worrying the skin around the thumb of his free hand and still waiting for Robert to take his shirt when he suddenly shakes his head.

Finally asks the one thing he’d been avoiding since last night.

“What is this, Robert?”

The sudden change clearly catches Robert off guard and the confusion is written all over his face, his eyes pulled down in concentration as he tries to figure out where this conversation is now going.

“Why didn’t you go home last night or even this morning? Why are you still here at all? Why come to the coffee shop?” He’s finally looked back up at Robert, the corners of his mouth turned down in a frown and watches as a flurry of emotions flicker across Robert’s face before he simply looks blank and Aaron let out a sigh, resigned to this being over before it’s started. Whatever this had even been. “You need to go Rob.”

This time Robert doesn’t argue. 

Quietly he shrugs back into his t-shirt, finds his jumper near the door and pulls that on as well. He slips his shoes back on and reaches for the door handle. His fingers close around the door handle and he pauses then. Aaron watched his shoulders tense, watches what seems like hesitation but in the end Robert can’t bring himself to turn around. Can’t bring himself to address the questions Aaron had. Can’t face what any of the answers, if he could give them honestly, would mean for him. 

Pulling the door open Robert slips out of it and it’s as Aaron sinks down onto the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, trying to get a reign on the emotional rollercoaster this afternoon turned into he hears it.

“You weren’t a mistake.”

It’s spoken softly, barely above a whisper, like Robert couldn't have stopped it and the quiet tone is meant to protect him. The click of the door closing into place halts any response Aaron might have had.

The silence Aaron’s left sitting in feels suffocating.

 

 

 

Things went back to normal after that, the normal of a few months ago at least. Robert returned to being a condescending prick anytime he was at the garage and Aaron avoided dealing with him, leaving Adam and Ross to deal with the older man’s attitude. Adam had tried to question him about things in the days proceeding their argument but Aaron wouldn’t have it and after avoiding his flatmate and friend for a couple days Adam had taken the hint and dropped the topic though Aaron still felt Adam’s gaze on him whenever Robert was around the garage.

Aaron knew he’d shut down a bit, closed himself off from his friends, but he hadn’t been able to help it and rather than deal with it he’d thrown himself into work. He was in the garage long before anyone else and the last to head home. For the first week Adam had let it go as races were just around the corner so it was understandable he’d be in overdrive but by the middle of week two he’d cornered Aaron in the kitchen after he’d come home one night.

“You ever gonna talk to me about it?”

Aaron glanced over to find Adam leaning against the counter, a sandwich in hand, and an eyebrow raised in question. 

“Nothing to talk about.”

He tossed his keys onto the kitchen table and shrugged out of his jacket and forced himself not to react to Adam’s dismissive snort.

“You’re runnin’ yourself ragged, bro.”

“I’m making sure we’re ready.”

“Seems like you’re avoiding Sugden and all things related to him personally.” Adam quipped.

Aaron’s shoulders tensed but he said nothing as he moved to the fridge and started to dig through it in search of something to eat.

“What happened with him?”

“Nothing,” he closed the fridge door with more force than needed suddenly not hungry anymore and glanced over at Adam. “If there was something to talk about I’d have told you already.”

“Would you have?”

“Focus on Australia.”

Adam sighed at the avoidance before pushing away from the counter and leveled his gaze on his best friend. “If you’re done with him, be done. Don’t let it hang over you like this. I thought maybe it was just bad sex but it’s been weeks and you two won’t even look at each other.”

“Adam-”

“ _ Listen _ to me, no one else has noticed anything different but if you two don’t knock it off someone like Ross will catch on and he won’t keep quiet like I do. So figure out a way to handle this once and for all. Shag his brains out again or-or I don’t know, but figure it out”

Aaron’s jaw ticked but he said nothing in response.

“He left you know, the whole lot flew out today, so take the few days to get it together before we depart for Australia as you so helpfully mentioned.”

That caught Aaron by surprise. “That’s different, normally fly out first”

“Yeah, Pete was talking about it. Lawrence wanted to take them all in way early. Some sort of family bonding experience. Think he’s throwing some sort of party at the hotel too. Pete said Andy and Robert looked like they’d swallowed a lemon over the prospect of being together but Katie and Chrissie will be there so I’m sure they’ll manage.”

Aaron knew he’d flinched at both family bonding experience and Chrissie’s name but he remained quiet before nodding his head indiscriminately, a frown tilting his lips down, and when he finally looked up Adam was watching him carefully.

“Good for them.” He said after a moment.

Adam let out a sigh, clearly disappointed in Aaron, before walking towards the living room only pausing to squeeze gently at Aaron’s shoulder for a moment and then he was gone leaving Aaron alone in the kitchen with his thoughts.

 

 

 

Aaron stood on the bus, leaning back against the driver's seat, with a clipboard in hand and ticked away the names as his mechanic team filed in. They’d bus from the White Compound to the airport where they’d next board their flight and finally head off to Melbourne like most other teams. He’d finally relaxed in the days leading to their flight, the knowledge that he wouldn’t run into Robert or hell Chrissie had done wonders for his headspace and following their conversation in the kitchen Adam had backed off again, though Aaron could tell the other man still wasn’t happy with him.

It was a bit of an unwritten rule amongst racing teams that something would always go wrong on a travel day. Usually it was something small like someone realizing they’d left a part behind and you’d have to scramble to have someone not traveling prep and send it with the hope it would make it to the destination in time.

It was an unwritten rule that something always went wrong and Aaron really should have expected something.

Aaron  _ should _ have known his luck was bound to run out eventually when they’d not only made it to the airport without a hitch, but they’d all checked in without a problem, and eventually everyone had boarded onto the flight hours later without a single hiccup. No delayed flight times. No one losing anything. It had gone perfectly.

He should have felt the trouble looming. 

He hadn’t though.

So when he’d watched a shadow cast over his clipboard and raised his head he’d expected to see an airline employee asking him to board as well. Instead he found himself staring up into the face of the absolute last person in the world he’d expected to see.

“I-Robert?”

It had been almost a week since he’d last seen the other man, nearly three weeks since they’d actually spoken to each other and he’d somehow forgotten how attractive Robert was and it knocked the breath from him. Robert’s hair was styled in that way that made it seem like he’d just rolled out of bed, dressed in a white dress shirt that had the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, and an old pair of jeans. Aaron felt the tug of desire and tried his best to appear unaffected.

“You’re supposed to- Adam said you left already.”

“Supposed to, yes.”

“You...didn’t?” he questioned, stupidly probably.

“No, nothing could make me spend that kind of time with Katie and Andy for anything.” His gaze flickered over Aaron for a second and a smile twitched one corner of his mouth up. “Almost anything.”

Aaron blinked up at him in confusion before he remembered he wasn’t supposed to be friendly with Robert. Folding his arms across his chest he hugged the clipboard tightly like it was some sort of protective barrier.

“Doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

“Lawrence and Chrissie are a bit uh, annoyed you might say, with me.” Yeah, Aaron understood that emotion where Robert came perfectly well, but that still didn’t explain while Robert was in front of him with a carry on hanging from his hand and the older man seemed to realize that so he continued on in the wake of Aaron’s silence. “He refused to let me charter his private plane, so it’s fly with you lot or not at all.”

It was an unwritten rule that something always went wrong and Aaron really should have expected this.

“Right, fucking perfect.”

He’d been seated somewhere in the middle of the plane but after exchanging a word with Dan he’d managed to swap seats so that he now he sat as far back in the plane as humanly possible. They’d been in the air for roughly twenty minutes and for every last one of those he’d ignored the worried looks Adam kept casting back at him as he glared furiously at the curtain that separated the rest of the plane from first class. Realistically sitting this far back didn’t actually do much considering Robert couldn’t even see him but it felt good. It made him feel like he had some semblance of control over things.

He tried to will himself to not be angry but it wasn’t working and he was left bouncing his pen on the fold out table in front of him in irritation.  The longer he stewed over it the madder it made him and the more he felt like this was just some big joke to Robert. They hadn’t talked for ages but Robert had been playful, flirty even, as if he’d expected Aaron to fall back into it. Like the idea of being trapped on a twenty two hour flight with Robert didn’t make Aaron want to punch something. The part that agitated him the most was this felt deliberate, a very calculated choice on Robert’s part. He just didn’t understand why. They’d kept out of each other's ways, there hadn’t been any looks between them, nor a single text message. There wasn’t a single reason for Robert to think this would go over well.

Aaron stabbed at the paperwork in front of him in frustration, could he really be  _ that _ arrogant?

Of course he fucking could, it was Robert. 

Aaron tensed when he felt someone come to stand beside his elbow but a quick glanced up revealed that it was only Adam and he looked away again quickly not in the mood to be nagged yet again when suddenly he froze, the pen dropping from his hand, and his gaze jerked back up to his best friend’s face taking in that look for a second time.

Adam looked  _ guilty _ .

“Adam, tell me you fucking didn’t” He was already folding the tray back up into a locked position and pushing himself from his seat and his voice dropped to a harsh whisper. “Tell me you did not lie to me about him leaving early? Tell me you did not  _ help  _ him set this up?”

“I wasn't lying, they did all leave. Just...without him. You weren’t dealing with things, I’m trying to help you.” 

“No, you’re meddling and doing my head in.”

He pushed past Adam but didn’t even make it a step away from him when he felt Adam snag him by the elbow and pull him back towards him. 

“Where are you going?” he questioned.

Wrenching his arm free of Adam’s he scowled at his best friend and Adam sighed before dropping his arms to his sides and shaking his head.

“Try not to hit him.”

“You’re lucky I haven’t hit  _ you _ yet.”

“Aaron…,” He lifted a hand to rub at the back of his neck, and Aaron knew Adam regretted his choice at least somewhat. “You weren’t dealing with things.”

“It wasn’t your choice to make.”

Adam frowned then before nodding after a moment. “Maybe, but I couldn’t just watch you close down could I? You’d finally made progress and I didn’t want to watch you slip back to where you’d been.”

“I wasn’t-” He cut himself off and his fists clenched tightly at his sides before bit down on his lip for a moment trying to calm himself down. “I’m not talking about this on a plane full of people. Go away Adam.”

Without waiting for Adam to respond he turned on his heel and made his way down the narrow path of the plane. It was late and most of the crew was asleep scattered among the seats of the plane and he knew he’d need to remember that once he set eyes on Robert again. Reaching the curtain that separated the two sides of the plane he gripped it only to hesitate. The last thing he needed to do was shout the plane down and cause even more trouble for himself.  

But his good intentions, few they were, fizzled into nothing when heard the giggle of one of the flight attendants and instead felt a irritation course through him. Aaron had been the last person to board the flight and he knew perfectly well Robert was the only person up there. Snapping the curtain open he watched both Robert and the flight attendant glance over in surprise. She was seated in the chair across from Robert, leaning into the aisle so that her top gaped open slightly, and Aaron noticed her hand resting on Robert's knee a second before Robert realized he would and Aaron couldn’t stop himself from sneering when Robert jerked his knee out from under her hold.

After a beat of silence they all three spoke at the same time.

“Aaron, it’s not...”

“Excuse me, Sir, this is for first class only.”

“ _ You arrogant prick _ .”  
  



	6. Mile High Considerations (a)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated holding off till I finished the other half of this chapter but ive made you poor souls wait long enough between updates. Ive already started working on the second half of the two parter so im hoping to get it up soonish.
> 
> And as always I appreciate feedback, it helps motivate.

“Exactly how stupid are you?” Aaron seethed at him from the doorway.

The flight attendant was watching them with wide eyes not quite understanding and Robert seemed more concerned with that then Aaron’s temper.

“You'll have to forgive my uh,” he floundered for a moment before finding his footing again “my mechanic, he's not known for his manners. If you could just excuse us for a moment so I ca-”

“So you can _what_?” Aaron interrupted.

Robert seemed to hesitate but in the end he pushed on like Aaron hadn’t cut him off. “As you can tell he's due a bit of a reprimand for his behavior. I'd prefer it be done privately, I'm sure you understand.”

The furious sound that slipped out of Aaron must have alerted Robert to the danger he was close to because without waiting for her reply he practically vaulted from his seat, snagged Aaron by the elbow, and after looking around in a panic hauled him towards the bathroom in the corner and bodied both of them into it. The second the door latched closed behind them Aaron snatched his arm away practically snarling at Robert.

“You stalk me on this god awful flight and the second I don't pay you attention you try it on with the fucking flight attendant?”

“Jealous are ya’?” It was clearly a reflex, because Robert’s eyes go wide with worry, and he's rushing to fix his blunder. “I wasn't trying it on, we we're chatting, I was letting you calm down. I was gonna come after you, Aaron.”

“Sure ya’ were.”

“Of course I was, I didn't get myself in trouble with Chrissie and Lawrence to fuck some random midflight you  _ idiot _ .” he sounded exasperated, like Aaron was actually the thick one between them.

“Well you're not fucking the  _ help  _ either.” Aaron’s emphasizing if the the word help was impossible to miss, mostly to swipe at Robert, but also as a reminder to himself.

“You're not- for fucks sake, Aaron, I'm trying to fix things.” He'd snipped back before his face softened and his voice gentled. “I miss you.”

He tried to ignore how that felt, refused to let it thaw him towards Robert and forced himself to stay distant. “There's nothing to miss, we weren't anything.”

“Stop lying.” He'd pushed into Aaron's personal space and it forced Aaron to tilt his head back in order to look at him. 

Aaron's body swaying towards Robert's before he could stop it and the truth was he didn't really want too. “Stop talking, Robert.”

So the older man did.

By surging forward and claiming Aaron's mouth in a kiss that made his toes curl.

  
  


 

In retrospect getting his insides rearranged by the bosses future son in law against the first class bathroom sink on a plane full of his coworkers was a very terrible idea.

In reality Robert's buried so fucking deep inside of him along with three of his fingers down Aaron’s throat to muffle him he can't find it in him to care how they ended up like this.

Every snap of Robert's hips drives Aaron harder against the sink and knows he's going to have a bruise later but right now all he cares about is squeezing his legs tighter around Robert's waist while he sucks at Robert's fingers. It's got Robert groaning into Aaron’s neck muttering Aaron’s name again and again incoherently while he pushes in and Aaron’s close to seeing stars.

He lets his tongue curl around Robert's fingers, flicking his tongue over the tip of the middle one and chokes out a grunt when Robert's response is a hip jerk that catches Aaron’s prostate dead on. 

All he can do is hold on tight and take it. So he does.

His fingers scratch at Roberts back before clasping at biceps, trying to hold himself upright. He shifts on the sink and it opens his wider, it lets Robert settle impossibly deeper and Aaron takes all of it happily, eagerly. Every few thrusts Robert angles his hips and catches his prostate again, gets him close to the edge, and then pulls back, denies him, and it makes Aaron spasm in his grip. Makes him suck harder at Robert’s fingers.

Robert is clearly just as affected his voice shaky when he speaks  “You're so fucking tight, you're so good Aaron”

He can't reply, but he doesn't think he's supposed too.  

Robert looks blissed out and Aaron grazes his teeth across Robert's knuckle as he loosens the ironclad grip he had on Robert's ass to let his index finger slip between Robert's cheeks, lets that finger drag over Robert’s hole and it punches a muffled whimper out of Aaron when Robert's body slams forward and he's suddenly desperate to get his mouth on him properly, wants to taste Robert as he falls apart completely.

But before he can try and voice that they're interrupted by whatever her name is.

“Um, excuse me, Mr. Sugden? Are you alright in there?”

Aaron’s scowling at the door as Robert goes still between his legs, his fingers slowly slipping from between Aaron’s lips as well.

“Get rid of her, Ro.”

“ _ Obviously _ .” he snaps, no more pleased to be interrupted than Aaron it seems.

Reluctantly, and only when she knocks again,  he pulls out off Aaron. But he's not able to keep the smirk off his face at the whimper that slips from Aaron’s parted mouth. He tugs up his trousers and shuffles around and after quickly fixing his hair, peeks his head out of the door careful to not show anything behind him.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

He feels Aaron bristle behind him and just manages not to roll his eyes.

“I really have to ask you and your friend to return to your seats.”

Aaron can't see it but he's guessing from her breathy laugh Robert's flashing his most charming smile at the woman. “It's a private conversation, lecturing an employe remember? I'm sure a few more minutes isn't a problem? I'd appreciate your understanding.”

She giggles actually fucking giggles in return and Aaron's sliding from the sink and snatching up his own pants suddenly - and maybe irrationally - angry.

When Robert turns triumphantly after locking the door again his smile quickly falters when he realizes Aaron’s preparing to leave.

“Aaron, come on, you really need to get a handle on this jealousy thing.” He's bracketed Aaron against the sink again but Aaron's refusing to look at him, chin jutting out in defiance as he glares hatefully at the wall. “Come on, don't be like this.”

It's said in a tone so patronizing it sets Aaron’s teeth on edge. Instantly he's in Robert's face and the older man stumbles back against the door in surprise. “Get fucked Sugden.”

“Aaron...” He’d reaching out for him but Aaron’s already shouldering Robert out of his way and as a last ditch effort Robert slaps a hand on the door to keep it closed. “Aaron, I'm  _ sorry _ .”

“No, what you are is horny.” He knocks Robert's arm away from the door with a scowl before tugging it open. “If you feel like making anymore mistakes this flight Robert, ask the attendant yeah?” 

He doesn't bother waiting for Robert's response before slamming the door shut behind him. He doesn't spare the woman a glance either as he storms towards the back of the plane and he very purposely ignores the worried glances Adam keeps sending his way once he's back in his seat until his best friend finally gets the hint. 

He only has an impossibly long flight left until he can get some decent space between them. He's been through worse than Robert Sugden and come out the other side. This is nothing. This is  _ less _ than nothing.

So why can't he stop looking at that stupid curtain separating first class from the rest of the plane?

“Fuck.”  
  
  
  


 

His impulse is to go after Aaron immediately, to try and sweet talk his way back into the other man's good graces but the fear of an argument kicking off in the main cabin keeps him in his seat.  He spends the first hour reading and the second hour playing candy crush while very purposely ignoring the flight attendant whose name he can't remember. She's mad, he can tell, but Aaron could stomp back in again at any moment and he can't chance it. He shouldn't have done so the first time but his ego had needed soothing and he’d figured it would prove harmless. He'd been very wrong.

Fidgeting in his seat he checks his watch before he glances back at the curtain for the fiftieth time, wonders how many people are still awake. 

He's out of his seat before he can reconsider and snagging two bottles from the first class drink cart as he passes it. He tries to move as quietly down the aisle as he can, eyes flickering across the cabin as he tries to find Aaron. 

Eventually he does at the far back of the plane, the younger man turned towards the window, eyes closed, blanket over his lap, and a frown tilting his mouth down as he sleeps. For a moment Robert's unsure what to do before he's  quietly shuffling himself into the seat beside Aaron.

He's grateful that not only is no one near them, the nearest coworker of Aaron's at least six rows up, but also that Aaron is tucked against the window seat which means with Robert seated in the middle rather than the aisle that anyone giving a quick glance backward cant see them. It feels private and it makes Robert feel like he can enjoy the view beside him without being caught.

He hates the frown Aaron wears though, hates even more that he put it there. Turning in his seat so he's facing Aaron he gives one more quick glance over his shoulder to make sure they're not being watched before reaching out to let his fingers slip into Aaron's hair. The younger man's curls are soft against his skin and it makes Robert smile when Aaron's head tilts towards him, his body subconsciously leaning into the touch.

“Aaron.”

Its barely more than a whisper and Aaron doesn't react to it so Robert scratches his nails lightly against Aaron's scalp and tries again.

“Come on Aaron, wake up.”

“‘Fuck off, Ads.” That earns Aaron a sharp tug on his hair and he blinks awake slowly confusion quickly giving way to irritation when he realizes who it is. His hand snakes out quickly to bat Robert's hand away and he shifts his entire body up and away practically pushing into the window in an attempt to put distance between them. “Don-”

“ _ I’m sorry. _ ”

“Get away from me.”

He wants to tell Aaron to keep his voice down but he knows it won't go over well and while he can smother that impulse he can't stop himself from glancing nervously around the cabin. 

Aaron picks up on it because of course he does. He's observant and bright but he's also kind so when he speaks again his voice is quieter so only Rob can hear him. “Go back to first class Robert.”

“I don't want to.”

“I'm not asking ya’ “ he snaps back, frustration evident.

“I'm trying to apologize. I don't understand what happened.” But that wasn't true he did know and he frowned at his own words before going on.”okay that's not - I mean to say I know I was a prat at your place. I do okay? Let me fix it.”

“You shouldn't be trying to fix it Robert that's my point. You're getting  _ married _ soon. This wasn't ever going to go anywhere. You had some fun now stop being a twat and move on. Focus on what you want, your wife and the fa-”

“I want  _ you _ !”

It’s said so forcefully it silences Aaron mid sentence and Robert feels himself flush under Aaron's confused gaze. “I don't understand.”

“That makes two of us.”

There's a brief moment where neither says anything, where Robert stares intently at his hands and Aaron watches his profile carefully.

“You want to leave Chrissie? to come out?”

That's got Robert jerking around to face him, eyes wide, and his face screwed up. “What? No, no I never said that,” He let's out an irritated sound before going on “I don't need to come out, I'm not gay.”

Its got Aaron frowning at him again, the younger man clearly trying to maintain control of his temper.  Without thinking Robert reaches out and smoothes the pad of his thumb over the corner of Aaron's mouth trying to erase the frown almost. “I hate when I make you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Get upset with me, frown I guess, I like when you smile. When you seem open and soft.”

“You can't have both Robert, you can't have everything.”

“Why not?” he sounds petulant, he probably is in the moment. “What changed? You were fine till I opened my mouth. Till I overreacted.”

His thumb is still pressed to the corner of Aaron’s mouth and slowly it slides up his cheek until Robert's cupping his face and after a moment Aaron's leaning into it.

“I know this is new still. I know it makes me seem like a massive cunt to ask for mor- “

“That's an understatement.”  Aaron cuts in.

But it's said with a small smile to soften the blow and earns an eye roll from Robert as he goes on  “It's not the same, she's not enough. I cant talk to her like I do you, I dont feel  _ normal _ like I do around you. I want  _ you _ , Aaron, and I know you want me too. You were okay with it before, you can be again.”

Aarons quiet for a long time, so long that it has Robert shifting nervously in his seat as Aaron's eyes roam his face, searching for what Robert doesnt know, is too scared to ask, but he hopes he finds it. 

Aaron's reading him again like only he can and isn't until Robert looks ready to crack that Aaron speaks again.“I won't be treated like that again, Robert. Like I'm disposable.”

“I'm s-”

“Yeah you're sorry, I know. You've said enough times. But sorry doesn't cut it moving forward do you understand? You do it again and I'm gone for good. There won't even be a chance to apologize.”

Roberts nodding along, so excited Aaron's relented that he doesn't even check to see if anyone's watching before he leans in for a kiss.  Only to have Aaron turn his head and deny him at the last second and it leaves him retreating back, suddenly self conscious.

His hand settle nervously in his lap and his gaze goes anywhere but Aaron's face. He feels open, displayed in a way he hasn't been in for years and he doesn't like it “I - You said.”

“We're not done talking.”

It gets his back up because it feels like he's being punished. “Now who's playing games?”

“You probably,” Aaron softens that comment too though by reaching out and snagging one of Robert's hands and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You said you'd explain and if whatever this is is gonna have a chance. If I'm going to forgive you? Then you're gonna need to do that."

Robert tenses, fingers clutching at Aaron's tightly, because saying he would do it and actually doing it are two very different things.  His instinct is to run away but he feels Aaron’s fingers laced through his and can see the soft look being directed at him and he knows he has to do it. He has to talk about something he's never even talked to Chrissie about in detail. 

If he was more self aware he'd probably consider what that means. 

“Alright, I'll tell you.”


	7. Mile High Considerations (b)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year you gremlins. Im as shocked as you are this didnt take 87 years to update.
> 
> I've tweaked Robert's younger years a smidge, but just barely, so that they align a bit better for thr f1 aspect.
> 
> Anyways this is the #big talk chapter so enjoy. As always feedback is greatly appreciated.

“What do you know? About my family, what’s Andy actually told you?” Robert asked softly.

They’d been sitting in silence for the past twenty minutes, Robert falling quiet after agreeing to explain things, and so Aaron had given him space to work through his feelings and knowing Robert had to start this on his own without being pushed into it. He’d been texting with Adam, his best friend as nosy as ever, when Robert had finally spoken again.

“Not much, he talks about Victoria a lot. You used to get a mention in passing. I know that he’s adopted.” Aaron had turned so that he was facing towards Robert, pocketing his phone as he did, giving the older man had his full attention. Robert had looked nervous at first but at the mention of Andy talking about him his features clouded over.

“I’m sure he was full of compliments.” Robert grumped.

It almost made Aaron smile but he didn’t want Robert to take it the wrong way so he smothered it down before answering. “Sometimes he was, but he was open about you two not getting along.”

Robert was tense, holding himself stiffly, and his uneasiness was etched across his face. This was obviously something he wasn’t used to discussing or comfortable with and that was almost enough for Aaron to let him off the hook, the realization that Robert was at the very least trying no matter how uncomfortable it made him feel, but Aaron knew himself and without something solid to explain the way he’d turned hateful without a second thought he wouldn’t be able to get past it. That there wouldn't be a chance for them to be whatever it was they were to each other going forward.

“We used to, he was my best friend at one point, we’d met in boarding school. He was probably the first real friend I made there.” a soft smile lit up Robert's face for a moment as the older man seemed to get lost lost in a memory. “I was mouthy back then too, didn't ever consider who I was running it at. I'd made some older boys mad, they'd every intention of thrashing me, and this lumbering idiot just sort of materialized at my side. Wasn't any bigger than me back then you know? Not at all anything like he is now.”

“Saved ya’ did he?”

Roberts laugh was carefree and full of genuine affection as he shook his head. “ hardly, they thrashed ‘im right along with me. But we were joined at the hip after that. Surveriors or summat.”

Aaron had grinned at that, the quick friendship reminding him of the instant bond he'd had when meeting Adam. Had even opened his mouth to tell Robert but it was like a light switch being flipped and as quick as the happiness had appeared in was gone. The only trace of it left behind the quiet sadness that seemed to emanate from Robert and Aaron watched with a pang of sadness as Robert carried on.

“He stayed with us over breaks, probably spent more time with us then at his actual home and when his grandma passed it just seemed natural to make him part of the family I guess. Mum took him right in, loved him like her own but that's who she was. But dad he… he was hard to please. Always annoyed with me. Thought I wasted time and didn't take anything serious. I couldn't please that man, I couldn't do one fucking thing right in his eyes. Not Andy though, Andy was the son he’d always wanted. He'd finally gotten a kid worth a damn. Even when - even after it.” 

Robert was staring intently at the folding tray in front of him, lips tugged down in a frown, and Aaron found himself leaning closer to lay a hand on Robert’s arm, his thumb rubbing gentle circles against the fabric that covered his arms in an attempt to relax him. “What happened, Rob?”

“He killed my mum.”

“He what?”

Robert laughed but it was brittle and full of bitterness. His voice harsh to his own ears. “Yeah, I didn’t imagine he’d shared that with you lot. Shared plenty of stories about what a prat I was though I bet.”

“Rob-” But it was like the floodgates had been opened and so Aaron did the only thing he could, he listened.

“The great Andy Sugden yeah? Racer of the people, isn’t that what they consider him? What’s not to love. Born into nothing, climbed his way to the top, and all without taking a single hand out. A fucking inspiration that one.” Rage now emanated from Robert but his face remained blank like he was somehow detached from what he was saying “Not like his arrogant brother, that one’s a gold digging social climber who hasn’t worked a day in his life. Always a disappointment that Robert. Everyone picks him. Everyone adores him. My dad, Victoria, the fucking fans. But n-not..” 

He finally faltered, losing steam almost instantly as his voice wobbled, and just like that his mask of indifference crumpled around him leaving his heartbreak splayed open for Aaron to see and the younger man fought agaibst the impulse to pull him close. Didn't want Robert to clam up when he was finally opening up. “Not my mum, she loved me. She believed in me and he - he fucking took her from me. She was a-all I had and he took her away.”

He lifted an arm to wipe it harshly across his face. Seemingly refusing to cry, whether that was because he was in public or some greater need for control Aaron didn’t know. Without thinking it through though Aaron reached out and cupped Robert’s face. Gently forced the older man to look in his direction while his thumb rubbed gently as his cheek trying to soothe him. “Robert, take a deep breath for me.”

“I hate him.”

Aaron didn’t think that was entirely true but now wasn’t the time to argue the point. Sitting up in his seat Aaron glanced around the airplane to make sure no one was listening in on their conversation. Thankful Robert’s voice hadn’t raised too much and that the majority of the crew were still asleep and the few awake far enough away from them it didn’t matter. He didn't think Robert would have handled it well if others got involved.

“How did she die?” he questioned. 

In response he watched Robert try and ultimately fail to pull himself back together.

“Take your time, Robert.” he leaned over so that he could brush his lips across Robert’s cheek. 

It barely counted as a kiss but the small sign of affection had its desired effect as Robert seemed to settle back into himself slowly. His fingers reaching for and clutching at Aaron’s free hand.

“Racing isn’t cheap, especially when you’re getting started, but it’s what Andy wanted to do so my dad supported it, didn’t even hesitate. But between school and racing it was taking a toll on the family. Our parents had been fighting a lot so Andy got it in his head that he was going to fix everything.”

“Hero complex that one?” A surprised laugh burst out of Robert and Aaron felt warmth unfurl in his chest that he could make Robert laugh even in a situation like this.

“A real prat honestly,” His lips twitched into a brief smile before sadness hung heavy on his shoulders again “But he was going to save the family and still get to race.” 

His eyes closed and he took a deep breath, leaning into Aaron’s touch as he went on. “He torched the barn for insurance money. Wasn't a half bad idea really except he didn’t bother to make sure it was empty before doing so.”

“Christ, how old were ya’?”

“Sixteen. He didn’t- he ran off after setting it. She’d been meeting someone there. An affair I found out later, not that I cared. But I’d been looking for her and I noticed - I saw the fire you know? So I’d gone to check and that’s when I heard her. I couldn’t help her..”

“You were just a kid Rob.” 

“She needed me” He wiped at his face again before pulling away from Aaron’s touch finally and Aaron let him go even as his heart ached for him. “To cut a long story short I eventually found out Andy did it. Dad had already known and decided to keep it quiet. The damage was done he’d said. Andy getting banged up wouldn’t solve anything. I don’t know why I was surprised, of course he’d side with Andy. But She was my mum. She was the only person who believed in me. The only person to ever pick me. So when you said... I just- I reacted poorly. I didn't think.”

“I get it, you don’t have to explain.” And he did understand. I hadn't been about Aaron at all but Robert's demons. That wasn't to say it was perfectly fine but Aaron understood better than most what that was like. He reached out to grab Robert’s hand and laced their fingers together giving the other man's hand a gentle squeeze. “You don’t have to talk about it anymore if you don’t want to but if you ever do? I’ll listen.”

Robert’s gaze had focused on their hands intertwined but at Aaron’s words he lifted his gaze to the younger mans face, eyes wide. “We’re okay?”

“We’re better than okay.”

“Even with the flight attendant thing?”

Aaron did laugh then and it lit his entire face up and a soft smile settled across Robert’s own face in response to it. Shaking his head Aaron shifted so that his head rested on his seat back and a leg was folded under him and Robert shuffled around to mirror him so that the two of them were smiling softly like idiots at each other.  
“Maybe don’t remind me of that.”

 

  


“Beverage?” 

Robert glanced to his side and breathed out a relieved sigh when it was a different attendant than from first class. Aaron had dozed off a while ago after struggling to keep awake during their conversation about the upcoming race and so Robert had slipped back to first class to gather his stuff and then hunkered down to watch race footage of the track not having the heart to wake him back up.

“Coffee if you have it, thanks.”

She'd fluttered her eyes at him before settling the black coffee down on his tray. “Anything else handsome? For you or your friend?”

“I think he'll be asleep a while lon-”

“A brew is fine.”

She turned with a bright smile to fix his order and then handed it across to him, eyelashes fluttering again but when neither man responded to her flirting she made her way back up the aisle seemingly unphased. Back in his seat though Robert nervously took a sip from his coffee before pausing the video playing on his laptop.

“I wasn't you know,” he made a vague gesture with his hand “flirting or whatever.”

“Breathe Robert, I'm not gonna do my nut every time a woman notices how attractive ya’ are.” Aaron watched him preen a bit under the compliment and rolled his eyes in good humor

“Yeah well...earlier and all.”

“Thought we agreed to let that go?”

“We did, I know, I'm just saying.”

Aaron sat up and settled his own drink onto Robert's tray beside his laptop and flickered his gaze up to the older man. “You're good lookin’ Robert people are gonna notice and you're like famous or summat to some. I was mad about her because you were supposedly here for me.”

“I am.” Robert quickly replied. 

Aaron raised an eyebrow at him “And yet she was all over you?”

“I’m sorry about that, Aaron, I wasn't thinking.”

“Kinda your brand that.” 

There was no bite behind his words though and Robert made a face at him. “Prat.”

“Slag.”

There was a moment of silence while Robert smiled at that and then he leaned back in his seat letting his head roll to the side to watch Aaron.

“So we're really okay?”

“You already asked me that.”

“I'm just making sure you didn't change your mind after your nap.”

“Robert.” his serious tone was undermined by how childish it was when he flicked Robert in the nose. “Stop fretting like an old hen, you'd know fairly quickly if I'd changed my mind.”

“Alright.” a brief pause and then. “Okay, yeah good, that's good.”

 

 

They'd fallen into a comfortable silence after that. Aaron rifling through paperwork that had to do with the car parts in transit while Robert had gone back to his videos with only one headphone. Periodically one would peek at the other and a smile would twitched the corners of both their lips whenever they caught each other. Aaron had lost track of how long they'd been doing this or even how many times they'd caught each other but whatever number this was when Aaron caught him with a knowing grin Robert didn't look away from him. 

The older man’s face held a soft look that had Aaron shifting in his seat, his cheeks pink with embarrassment. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Doesn't look like nothing.” Aaron teased quietly.

Robert hesitated but only for a brief moment “You just look nice.”

“I look like I've been on a plane for six hours, I doubt I look that great.”

“You do.” he said it quickly and forcefully and it had Aaron grinning back at him. 

Aaron tapped his pencil against his thigh a couple times while seemingly contemplating something before he started to put away his work and then reached over and closed the lid to Robert's laptop as well and before Robert could question it shoved everything into Robert's carry on and then directed him to put it in the overheard.

“Alright bossy.”

“Stop complaining, oh and snag me a blanket while you're at it.”

Aaron was pretty sure Robert mumbled ‘Sir, yes Sir’ but he didn't call the older man on it instead waiting until Robert tossed him the blanket and dropped back down into his seat to kick his legs up into Robert's lap and then unfurled the blanket to cover both Robert's lap and his own legs.

“Uh..”

"Relax, everyone's asleep. Besides no one's gonna look back here anyways.”

“I know, it's just..” He gestured around with his hand and Aaron rolled his eyes in response.

“I'm not tryin’ to out ya’ Robert.” But he started to pull his feet away only to feel Robert curl his fingers around an ankle holding him in place.

“I know that, I trust you.”

“Do you?” 

He hadn't meant anything by it, just genuinely curious, but Robert's lips had titled down in a frown, his brows pulled together in unhappiness. His tone leaving no doubt he found the question offensive. “Of course I do, I wouldn't have told you about my mum, about Andy, if not.”

“Yeah, but I mean, it's not like I'm the only one who knows.”

The look on Robert's face though said otherwise and Aaron sat up straighter, scrutinizing Robert's face closely. “You've at least told Chrissie?”

“She knows how Mum died.”

“And the Andy stuff?”

Robert suddenly looked uncomfortable. Like he'd given something away that he'd never intended and didn't know what to do in the face of it. Finally after what felt like ages he shrugged. “She thinks it's about Katie.”

“So why tell me? You're gonna marry her, you barely know me in comparison.”

“I just can't,” he gave a shrug of his shoulder, the fingers of his free hand picking at the blanket. “That's not who I am to her.”

“Who are you to her then?” 

“Chrissie comes from money, from a different world. She's not interested in the dramas of my family. You just ignore things in her world, look at her monster or a son, so I'm not about to tell her my idiot brother killed our mum.”

“There's no need to snap at me.”

“I don't want to talk about this anymore.”

“Then we won't.” his tone was gentle, trying to soothe Roberts agitation. “So what do you wanna talk about then?”

“Maybe I don't feel like talking anymore.” his mouth had curved up into a sly smile and just like that his bad mood seemed to disappear. 

Grinning himself Aaron pulled his feet from Robert's lap and reached for Robert's arm tugging him back into the middle seat so that they were closer. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” One of Robert's hands found its way under the blanket and settled on Aaron’s thigh before giving it a gentle squeeze. “That alright with you?”

“I'm not the one twitchy about public places.”

“Don't be rude.”

Aaron rolled his eyes only to bite down on his lip, laugh abruptly stifled into a low groan, when Robert's hand moved higher, his fingers grazing over Aaron's crotch. Breathing was suddenly a bit more difficult. 

“Rob..”

“I want you.”

And if that didn't inflate an ego nothing would, it also had the effect of making Aaron soft and open in a way he wasn't usually. “You have me, Rob.”

Robert hesitated, if only for only a few seconds, before he started to lean forward but it was long enough for Aaron to watch a variety of emotions flicker across the older man's face as he struggled with both his desire for Aaron and his nervousness at their location. Quietly Aaron lifted a hand to brush his fingers across Roberts cheek, his palm coming to settle along his jaw, and his thumb rubbing at Robert's bottom lip. 

“We can wait.”

“No.” Robert darted in quickly. Lips pressing gently against Aaron’s for a chaste kiss, before just barely pulling back and leaving the two of them staring at each other, their breath mingling together. “I don't want to wait for you anymore.”

This time when Robert pressed forward there was no hesitancy, only desire, and Aaron's body arches up into Robert's touch as he goes pliable under the force of Robert's want. It was like the kiss in the garage; all consuming and something that pulled at Aaron so strongly he felt he could drown under it if he let himself.

And god did he ever want to.

He moaned softly, low in his throat, when Robert runs his tongue across the seam of his lips and opens them eagerly for the other man. Unlike the first time Aaron doesn't fight against any of it it, he doesn't question what they are to each other or what anything means. He just accepts it. This time he willingly let's Robert sink into every nook and cranny he has and he takes everything Robert has to give in return.

He wants to mark him, to claim him, but he knows he can't so he encourages Robert to do it instead. He tangles his left hand in Robert's blond locks and twists, preens at the whimper Robert breathes into his mouth as they kiss, before he tugs hard enough to pull Robert back. Both of them are panting and it takes Robert a second to get his wits again but before he can voice his confusion Aaron’s pushing his mouth towards his throat. Aaron shudders when Robert understands instantly, his teeth scraping over the skin over his adam's apple before soothing the sting of his bite with the flat of his tongue.

“Rob-Robert.” Aaron breathes out. It's barely more than whisper as Robert's hand slipped its way into Aaron's jeans.

“Hm?”

If them fucking in the first class bathroom had been risky this is downright stupid.

“Your hand..”

He feels Robert's grin against his throat and he fights against the urge to close his eyes, knowing at least one of them needs to be aware of their surroundings, knowing that they need to not get caught. 

Robert sucked at the same expanse of skin again, low on Aaron's throat, before peeking up at Aaron through his lashes, his fingers wrapping firmly around Aaron's dick and his lips slick with spit when he speaks. 

“What about it?”

The first stroke is slow, fucking torturously so, and it has Aaron's hips snapping up, has his mouth falling open, and Robert must see it coming because his free hand clamps across Aaron's mouth in time to smother the sound of the moan it drags out of the younger man.

“That was close, guess I'll just keep this here to be safe.” Aaron can only glare at him because he's so fucking smug about it “Should have remembered how loud you are.”

Aaron's mumbled ‘get fucked’ sounds a lot like ‘gef mucked’ from behind Robert's palm and Robert's retaliation to quicken the stroke of his hand, is simple but effective, as he watches Aaron's body tremble in response with a smirk.

Aaron still has ahold of his hair though and he tugs hard at it forcing Robert to bite down on his own lip to keep quiet himself before mock glaring up at Aaron. “Cheater.”

“Pra-fuck.” 

Robert had twisted his hand on the downstroke and Aaron fell quiet after that as Robert continued to jerk him off, save for the quiet whimpers that slipped past kiss swollen lips and after a while Robert can't help himself. 

“If you could see how fucking good you look, Aaron.”

Aaron had been staring off blindly trying to keep quiet but with effort he lets his gaze settle on Robert again.

“If I could, I get my mouth in you right now. I bet you'd like that wouldn't you? Me on my knees? Is that what you want Aaron?”

Aaron makes a strangled sound, louder than he should, but no one reacts and he's fucking grateful cuz he wouldn't have been able to do anything if they had. His hips are rocking up to meet Robert’s rhythm and he knows he's close. 

“Rob..” Roberts finger nail drags along the vein along the bottom of his dick and Aaron feels his eyes cross.

“Would you come on my face or down my throat Aaron? Which one?” 

Aaron’s mouth falls open but there's no sound and then his biting down hard on Robert's hand as his hips stutter a couple times and he comes all over the underside of his blanket. He twitches when Rob glides a finger over his head with another smug smirk and he bats the older man’s hand away. 

“Hair trigger.”

“Fuck off, I didn’t get to come earlier in the bathroom.” his words are a little slurred but he manages a decent enough glare in Robert's direction.

“That's your own fault though isn't it, drama queen?”

“Whatever.” 

It's petulant and moody and yet it puts the biggest stupidest smile on Robert's face and has him leaning over to press a soft kiss to the corner of Aaron's mouth. “You can repay me later at the hotel.”

Pushing himself back up into a sitting position Aaron stuffs the soiled blanket down on the floor beside his feet before he glances over at Robert. “Won't you be roomed with Chrissie?”

“Aaron..”

“I'm not having a go, promise.” to prove it he leans over and plants a kiss on Robert. Its messy, all tongue and spit abs it has Robert leaning after him when Aaron finally pulls back. “I'm just asking.”

“Uh..” It takes Robert a moment to shake the dazed look from his face but eventually he does and nods stupidly. “Yeah, yeah I will be, but you'll have your own room right?”

“I can, usually room with Adam though.”

His response is quick “Room alone this time.”

The request is simple but laced with a desire that's impossible to miss abd it fluffs Aaron's ego a bit. “You askin’ or ordering?”

There's silence and then Robert's voice, low and teasing.“Depends on what you like.” 

It really shouldn't make Aaron smile as wide as it does.


	8. Race Day (a)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: gordon plays a big part in this chapter without actually physically being in the chapter.
> 
> That said i was meant to upload this when both parts were finished but I think ive struggled so much with that because this chapter is just a bit heavy emotionally and the next bit is a similar tone but not quite the same and so i need them seperate rather then one large chapter.
> 
> So here's part 1and part 2 should be up sometime after the big bang.

Aaron hates race day, the irony of this is not lost on him.

He'd told Adam once that there are some memories that you can still feel, ones that crawl inside you and refuse to let you be. He can manage though, has done for ages now, but it leaves him jittery and uncomfortable in his own skin.

_This is your fault you know._

He doesn't like watching the qualifies either, practice sessions are bad enough, so he leaves that to Adam. He's the head mechanic and he should but he trusts Adam and it’s how they've always done things. Instead he checks and rechecks the tires, making sure that no one's mixed them up between the cars, colour coded or not. It's absolutely pointless but watching cars fly by like that tends to make him feel ill.

_She's crying because you won't listen._

Andy ends up taking the pole position for Sunday's race just barely edging out Robert and Robert? Well, he has a bit if a meltdown, in public, when he realizes it.

It's caught on camera because of course it is.

Aaron can hear Lawrence lighting into Robert behind the garage as they're packing things away inside it for the day. Being angry you lost out to a competing team is one thing but throwing a tantrum because your brother and teammate won? Not going over so well with the boss, especially when Robert's still in trouble for bailing on the family plans.

_Why do you make me do this Aaron? Why can't you just be good?_

He doesn't actually see Robert in person again though until Pete, Ross, and Adam drag him downstairs to the hotel bar and they spot Robert in the corner having a sulk on his own.

“Should we invite him over?” Adam questions.

“I'd rather drink bleach, mate.”

It earns Ross a slap to the head by Pete before the brothers are off to find them a decent booth while Adam and Aaron get drinks in at the bar. Aaron doesn't realize he's staring at the back of Roberts head until Adam nudges him in the side.

“You can invite him over you know? Who cares what Ross said.”

“No, not today.”

And Adam gets it instantly because Adam knows everything there is to know about Aaron's joke of an upbringing. So he just nods and snags the pints before heading to the table leaving Aaron to follow in his wake. He hesitates for a moment, gaze lingering on the back of Robert, before he follows after.

It's not because Robert can't know about his baggage and mountain of issues but because he doesn't want the way Robert looks at him to change.

_You know how to fix this, Aaron._

And it would.

So he sits and he watches his friends have fun, it's a race weekend so they can't get too wild, but they can relax for at least a couple hours before packing it in. It's mostly just jokes and complaints about their job. A way to let off their own stresses as they gear up for the big day.

Aarons heart isn't really in it though and all he wants to do is hide away in his hotel room and block out the world. He's so focused on picking away at his beermat that he doesn't realize Robert's already left the bar until he hears Andy say his name. Hell, he's not even sure when Andy joined the table.

“Robert, still pouting is he?”

“The pretty waitress will probably improve his mood.”

Aaron's first urge is to tell Andy to get fucked but Pete’s follow up comment takes the fight right out of him. He feels winded, like he's run a mile.

_Who could ever want you?_

His shoulders sag as he curls into himself. He could shove away from the table, leave without a word, and Adam would smooth it over. They all know the first race is always the worst for him even if they don't all know every detail as to why.

“Chrissie will wise up and realize he's not worth the hassle eventually.” Andy supplies.

Andy doesn't even hesitate to knock his brother and Aaron understands a bit more why Robert's so touchy about him. Why being upstaged by Andy on the first race of the first season as teammates might grate at him especially when Robert's signing had been scrutinized from day one.

“Maybe don't take the piss out of your brother to his mechanic team. Least Robert has the decency to do it to your face.”

The table goes quiet at his outburst; Pete and Adam wide eyed, the latter with worry titling his mouth down. Ross smirking but quiet and Andy just blinks dumbly at him a few times before his eyes narrow. “I didn't know you two were friends now.”

“We're not, just didn't take you for a twat with a big gob.” he snaps back.

It's harsher than it has any need to be but he's rapidly losing control of his own mouth.

Thankfully Adam interferes before it can get much worse “Hey now, all friends here yeah? It's been a long day for everyone, no one means any harm, right mate?”

He addressed the table but his gaze is on Aaron so he shrugs but doesn't verbally respond. This time when the feeling hits he follows through and shoves his chair back and bails without a goodbye to anyone. He can feel Adam's gaze on his back but he doesn't follow and Aaron trusts Adam can handle any questions.

_It's our special secret._

He lets out a ragged breath and jabs at the elevator button. He just needs to make it to his hotel room and he can fall apart in peace. He's grateful for the empty elevator as the doors start to close but that small piece of relief is shattered to bits when a hand shoots out and halts the doors closing. Aaron doesn't even look at who it is, lacks the energy for the effort, so he just tilts his head back and keeps his eyes closed and prays they don't attempt to talk.

“It took you long enough to leave.”

His eyes snap open in time to watch the doors close behind Robert, leaving him alone with the older man, as the tentative grasp he has on his emotions starts to slip away.

 

  
Robert talks a lot.

Robert talks a lot and quite often without considering what he's really saying, enthralled by the sound of his own voice no doubt. Aaron had noticed that the first day they met and sure it had been annoying but you get used to it quick enough and just realize and accept that it's part of who Robert is.

What Aaron has started to learn since the plane flight - and what most people don't know - is that Robert is also a nervous talker. He'd ranted the entire elevator ride up to Aaron’s floor about Andy seemingly unbothered by the lack of input from Aaron. His emotions all over because of his older brother and on any other day Aaron would have been supportive. He'd have chimed in, maybe even tried to settle Robert down some but this wasn't any other day and he wasn't in the mood to do any of that.

Aaron guessed they were about three doors away from his room when Robert finally seemed to become aware of Aaron's mood. He'd dropped the topic of Andy abruptly and gone silent for a moment before asking how the mechanics were doing - a topic they both knew he didn't care about - but a topic that was about Aaron and not himself none the less. It was Robert's gentle attempt at gauging the problem, most likely assuming Aaron's mood was work related.

Aaron didn't reply he also didn't invite Robert into the hotel room so much as he didn't just slam the door in the other man’s face.

“I'm taking a shower.”

“Alright…” Robert answered, and then when Aaron continued to ignore him. “Is everything okay?”

“Yep.”

He'd just snagged clean clothes and grabbed the door handle the the bathroom, so close to the privacy he needed only for Robert to speak again.

“It doesn't seem okay.”

That's when he felt Robert's hand on his elbow and without thinking he jerked away so violently he almost slammed into the bathroom door.

“Aaron I'm-"

He felt like he was watching a train wreck but couldn't look away. Like someone else had taken over his mouth, Aaron their silly little puppet, as he turned to stare blankly at Robert. Couldn't figure out how to stop the awful words from leaving his mouth. “I dont give a shit about your drama today Robert, go cry about Andy to your wife yeah? Maybe she'll actually care if she's even talking to you yet but I doubt it.”

Robert’s hand, which had still been reaching out for Aaron dropped back to his side limply, hurt flickering across his face.

"Just leave me alone, Robert, I dont give a shit.”

Without waiting for Robert's response he bolted into the bathroom slamming the door closed behind himself and quickly locking it. He turned the shower on immediately after that to full blast hoping to drown everything out. Wishing he could forget the confused hurt on Robert's face. Wishing he could erase this entire day away.

As he slides down the wall on the far side of the bathroom - tucked between the shower and the toilet - his fingers tangled in his hair, forehead on his knees, and his quiet sobs shaking his body Aaron could only focus on one thing.

_You've ruined everything, just like you always do._

 

  
He expects Robert to be long gone when he finally comes out of the bathroom. If the harsh words hadn't run him off the two hours he’d spent scrubbing at his skin trying in vain to erase the words in his head should have done the trick. Instead of the empty hotel room he deserves though he finds Robert’s long body on the bed, curled around a domed tray - food from room service if Aaron were to guess - and an arm tucked under his head. He looks at ease despite the jeans and jacket he's still wearing. It stops Aaron in his tracks, makes his heart crack open in his chest. He'd been so sure, so positive things would be a mess between them after his lashing out. After all it had only been a few days since the flight, since they'd agreed to be better.

Aaron moved over to side of the bed. Gaze lingering on Robert, and gnawed on his lip nervously. Maybe It was an accident? Maybe he hadn't actually meant to stay? But why would he order food then. Why would he stay at all? Then came the concern he’d get in trouble or well more trouble with Chrissie. Robert was already up to his elbows in it for ditching them to fix things between them he didn't need to get an earful on top of Aaron’s shitty attitude.

_Why can't you ever do anything right?_

He closed his eyes against the voice, counted to ten, and then reached out to gently shake Robert's arm. “Rob - Robert, wake up.”

“Hm?” Robert blinked awake slowly. Shuffling around so he could turn sleepy eyes on Aaron and a soft smile turned up the corners of his mouth. “Hi.”

Aaron feels it like a punch.

There wasn't an ounce of anger or hurt in that look, just a sweet smile. He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve anything.

“You fell asleep, I'm sure Chrissie is wondering where you are.” He reached out with a shaky hand to run his fingers through Robert's hair and tried to return the smile. “I don’t want ya’ in anymore trouble.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” he hesitated a moment and Aaron watched uncertainty flicker across his features. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I'm fine. But come on, you need to get up.”

Aaron stepped back as Robert pushed himself up into a sitting position. Let his hands fall to his sides as Robert scrubbed at his face trying to fully wake up.

“I already called her, it’s the night before a ra-"

“Even more reason for you to get back. You don't need the aggro before the big event.”

“Aaron would you just-"

“Come on, it’s getting late.”

“Aaron.” Robert nearly shouts it. His name startling Aaron out of his own thoughts. When he finally looks, actually properly looks, at Robert again all he sees is worry on the older man’s face.

“What?” his voice is quiet to his own ears and it's only after the fact that he realizes he whispered it.

Robert, fully alert now, nudges the tray towards the other side of the bed and reaches out to grab and tug Aaron to sit beside him. Neither one says anything for a while though the room quiet besides their breathing. Robert still has Aaron’s hand in his lap and he's rubbing his thumb across the back of it. Slow circles with no real purpose but Aaron feels it absolutely everywhere.

It's Robert who breaks the silence.

“I called her when I realized you were gonna take a while in the bathroom. It's pretty normal for me to want to be on my own before a race, so she's not expecting me and won't think anything of it.” His thumb finally stops moving and Aaron can feel Robert's eyes on him but can't bring himself to look at him. “You going tell me what's wrong?”

Aaron doesn't respond right away, turns his face to stare at nothing on one of the walls, but eventually he does. Because it's Robert and a response is the least he deserves.

“No.”

It just isn't much of a response.

“Is it something I did?” Aaron's gaze finally snapped back to Robert’s face and the idea that Robert would think he's at fault is suffocating. “I promise I wasn't interested in the waitress. I just figured it was a good way to get out of the bar without them paying too much attention.”

“ _No_.”

“I'm sorry.”

They'd spoken at the same time.

“Robert, _no._ ” Aaron closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath trying to calm himself. He'd hoped falling apart in the bathroom would have helped but clearly it hadn't. He feels Robert's fingers glide across his skin before his palm cupped his cheek and felt rather than heard the sob that racked his body.

“Aaron what's wrong?” Robert's voice is full of worry and it just serves to unravel Aaron more.

“I-I can't talk about it.”

“Why not?”

He felt Robert's thumb start to make the same gentle circle against his cheek as it had his hand, the softness, the gentleness too much for him when his head keeps telling him he doesn't deserve it and he splinters apart i front if the older man.

“Because I can’t. You wouldn’t understand. I won't be able to explain it. I didn't want… I never wanted you to see me like this.”

He'd started crying again he thinks, the voice inside his head drowning out everything good. It isn't until much later that he realizes the older man's arms are wrapped tightly around him, rocking him lightly, as he mumbles calming words into Aaron’s ear even as the voice in Aaron’s head grows louder.

_You're an embarrassment_

“Shh, it's okay, you don't have to tell me.”

_Worthless_

“I won't ask again okay?”

_Pathetic_

“You're alright. I'm here, Aaron, I've got you.”

Aaron clutches at him even as he's embarrassed for Robert to see this. He hadn't had an episode like this in a long time and a part of him more than anything else is ashamed.

Slowly Aaron pulled away from him, rubbing at his face, and refusing to look at Robert.  
This time Robert keeps silent and simply waits for Aaron to break the silence.

And eventually he does, if quietly.

“It's just..” there was a long pause and for a moment Robert didn't think he’d finish the thought. “Everyone has baggage, it’s just a bad day for me that's all. I'll be fine for tomorrow.”

“I'm not worried about tomorrow, Aaron.”

“You should be.”

“Maybe, but at the moment I really just want to make sure you're okay. You've seen my baggage fall open a few times now. You don't have to be embarrassed.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“I'm just saying..”

Wiping the tear tracks from his face with a rough swipe of his hand Aaron barely spared Robert a look before pushing off the bed and heading towards his luggage. When he comes back it's to toss a t-shirt and shorts at Robert and nod his head towards the bathroom door. “Go take a shower, Robert.”

It's practically a neon sign shouting ‘subject closed‘ and after a slight hesitation Robert does what he said he would as he held Aaron.

“Alright, you'll probably want to reorder room service.” He’s only just started to close the bathroom door when his blond head pops back out and Aaron braces himself incase Robert's changed his mind.

“Or you can join me if you want.” The older man's smile is flirty even if his eyes still hold worry.

“Just had a shower.”

“I've smelled you, mate. You could do with another.”

It's the wink that accompanies the playful words that seals the deal and has Aaron drifting closer. It's Robert doing what he said he would and not prying that slowly starts to mend Aaron’s frayed nerves.

“Think you're funny do ya’?”

And it’s as Robert snatches him by the t-shirt to pull him forward for a soft kiss, barely a touch of lips really, tha the fingers of his free hand attack Aaron’s side and the young mechanic laughs for the first time that day. “I know I am.”

 

 

 

 

He startled awake with a jerk, breathing heavy, and panic making him tremble. So it takes him longer than it should to realize it's Robert's arm tightening around his waist to pull him closer, not his, and he slowly calms as he feels Robert's lips brush across his neck. His fingers scramble for Robert's before his walls can go up and he clutches at the older mans hand, taking a deep breath in an effort to settle his mind. To try and ignore the nightmares of his past for just a small while longer.

_Only I could lo-_

"You okay?"

It's so unexpected it renders him mute. One second Gordon's voice is slamming around his head, loud enough to drown out the world, and the next its peace, its happiness, it's Robert.

"Aaron?"

"Y-yeah, I'm okay, just a bad dream."

He feels Robert shift and when he settles Aaron doesn't think there's an inch of space left between them. He doesn't have a single complaint about it.


End file.
